mainan

orang kata, mimpi tu mainan tidur. tapi kalau betul mainan, how come kadang tu, bila jaga hati kita berdegup kencang macam taufan? mata kita berair tahan tsunami.. bukan ker mainan itu entertainment? hati patut girang, riang..
So, tak semua mimpi adalah mainan, or at least tak semua adalah patung barbie atau kerete kebal dan doll house.
Mungkin sebab kita tak selamnya budak.
Bila dewasa, mimpi yang menakutkan is no longer equal to mimpi hantu. Mimpi kenyataan lagi menakutkan.
Kata pakar yg anonymous, dalam tidur kita dlm separa sedar. maka benda-benda yg kita fikir masa jaga, sgt fikir or ape jelah akan dtg dlm mimpi. aku risau. sangat. sebab itu mainan ni datang setiap malam. mimpi sama over and over again. those that I worry about so so much is coming closer. and even closer when close my eyes.
InsyaAllah it would not happen. insyaAllah.

colours....calories...de kaitan x?

i have this thing about food with colours. i'll enjoy eating it double than usual!
makan yang satu tona tuh, bukan x sedap..cuma...kalau ia bulih diwarna-warnakan rase macam seri dan rase dier naik ke mata turun ke hati bak kate my mom. Ooh yes, i must "got this" from her then.

so if i cook sayur, i'll try to make it ade gak hijau tuh plus with yellow ke, merah ke, oren2 carrot ke, ape2 je..

if i can't make the sayur becomes a bit more colourful, then just make the lauk a bit more cheerful wud be fine as well..
lau ayam masak merah, sayur hijau atas nasi putih..kan dah kaler2 tuh?
lau tak, boleh buat air bandung ke air oren ke..
dangg!! kronik.



so,
i really did enjoy myself baking this cake. its called rainbow cake. but i dont have 7 diff colouring at home, so kire acilah ni...

dier x hangus ni, dier cume sunburn sedikit

please dont judge the outer, inside dier x sunburn pown.

nah..pelangi versi baru..xde violet2 seme..nonsense tuh.. :P

 making me happier to see it a bit 'taller' this time. dari first trial mase nak bagi kat dak2 sekolah cornwall time farewell dulu..hak tuh..hurm, rendang sedikit..kuikuikui

***********************

sudah.
sekian,

mase untuk berjuang kembali dalam medan Dissertation setelah off-day selama dua hari. 

:) 

++hari ni shopping best giler..huahuahuahua

ok.

bye. nak start working now.

gila kacang

i love kacang..and any dishes/kuihs/keks with kacang in it.-which is why i like kek carrot and nasi himpit sangat...

di suatu hari ketika sedang menyiapkan assignment, my junior posted her CNY dishes at FB.
hurmmm..ok..
i ok je, until this picture...picture of biskut kacang yang sedap giler tuh naek!! hurmmmmmm....menggugat hati seyh.
 peberet dari zaman kanak-kanak hingga nak jadi mak kanak-kanak kotttt..

so, dapat je link resepi dari jen yong terus lompat2 nak buat, but have to tangguh for a while with kerja-kerja yang banyak menimbun,
today, as i promised to myself,( that i'll do the kuih after hand in the works,)  n janji kan tak boleh mungkir,
so taddaaaaaaa....

the before masuk oven look

the sudah-masak look

the extra zoom dekat look..

*****

....the sudah masuk perut look... :p

oh ya, tengah2 buat biskut kacang tadi, tibe2 my housemate bagi news syok habis >>>> its SNOWINGGGGGGG!!!!! :)

memang syok.

^_^

punningly pening me.

floor.
As he asked in a very serious tone, 'is there anymore question from the floor?", I don't know what sort of illness I have that makes me giggle while looking at the floor, searching for questions,in case the floor would speak to me and pass the question..I must be crazy..or even more the moment he caught me giggling when he throw a serious question .like, I'm dead.really am..macam xde lecturer lain ko nak main2!

And there's another lecturer of mine yang suke uses phrases like 'bear in mind that' 'bear in mind this', well, it is ok, except that everytime she said that, there'll be a grizzly bear, or polar bear, or even my pooh dancing along in my mind. And its super hard to make no one in the class heard my 'insane laugh' or at least a chuckle...tahan gelak is at some point much harder than tahan sakit, if u know what I mean!

There was 1 night that we called 'emergency night', happened almost 3 weeks ago. we had this conversation about garlic and onion, and honey, and lemon. -And I joined the conversation, and lalalalala, until after 5 minutes the rancak conversation suddenly  stopped when someone asked this; 'eh, why does this halia suddenly masuk in our conversation?". at that point, I knew, it must be me. the culprit. everytime people talk about garlic, my brain would then imagine a picture of ginger instead. And I would continue with ginger on and on until someone stop me.

Stop punning me,I'm so pening dah.

the most wanted word..

my visit to dinding jagung turned out to be very fruitful today, despite the nausea-dizzyhead-whatsoever sympstom I had to endured in our 1 hour plus journey to the school..kat Malaysia lagi byk cikgu2 yg kembara lagi lame nak gi sekolah kan? cekgu-cekgu are the best!! :)
We were asked to teach some of Malay words to our tutorial group today, great experience.. and after the session ended, I asked one of the girls, if there's anything else or any words they want to learn.

"What's LOVE in Malay?" (as expected...)
"LOVE is CINTA. CIN-TA" I said repeatedly. She frowned, and ask a rather unexpected question;
"Erm, is that a Chinese word? its sounds like Chinese word"
........
.........
...........
"No, no its not. LOVE in Chinese language would be AI. Like I-LOVE-YOU, is WO-AI-NI" (hahaha..the love expert in de making!!)

"oh..ok. Erm, I wonder, why does Chinese has a very different letters,alphabet unlike other languages? They have line, and cross...and..I don't know"
Terer betol soklan budak ni. As a tesl student, I didn't learn linguistic features to that extend..not that deep.. so,
"Well, honestly, I also don't know. its a very old language..it was used and created ages ago..sorry..I really don't know"
"Ok.."
Maaflah dik, akak pun belajar lagi..tau 3 patah tu je (kredit to KRU and, MatLUTfi)
.....
.......
...........
"But actually,  we have another word which also means LOVE. SAYANG also means LOVE in Malay. SA-YANG. Perhaps its easier for you to learn"
"Yeah, thanks" -happy gila muka dier...

Sempat mendirikan sebuah masjid too!! (taj mahal, said one of the students)

If I were to learn other languages, especially the one used in a country that I want to visit, 2 things that I would want to learn; thank you and sorry....they seem to matter more to me. :)

TOP LIAR DETECTORS!! -of mrs.tech n co.

Disclaimers:
1. Entry ini tiada niat untuk memberi promosi percuma kepada mana-mana pihak secara berbayar mahupun percuma.
2. Entry ini juga ditulis berdasarkan apa yang penulisnya tahu sahaja.
3. Entry ini TIADA niat untuk merosakan plan-plan penipuan sesiapa, atau membantu anda mengupgrade skill menipu. sekian.


When Mrs Technology and Co. memberitahu sesuatu, beri perhatian.

1. BBM: when chatting with someone or message someone to tell something, important or not, and there's no reply for that. take note on the letters and mark at the chats line.
Single tick, well the message is on its way. so, sabar, its ur gadgets fault.
The letter D, it has been delivered to that person. but, sabarlah, dier belom membacanya lagi. mungkin ke tandas kot??
The letter R, ok. the message has ben read. why no respond? ask that personlah....

2. Whatsapp.
Single tick (again) also means it is on its way to the other pihak.
Double ticks, it has safely arrived. But, it doesn't mean its been read yet or not. so,
Check up there, besides the name of the message receiver, if its stated 'online' (italic) errm.. that person is busy chatting wif someone else? kotttt... if not, it will show a longer line like ' last seen yesterday at 00:15' (italic).so, if your message was sent much much  earlier than 00:15 yesterday, the message receiver actually dah nampak dah mesej tu.. Ask that personlah nape tak reply. Try call, whatsapp dier rosak kot.

3. Skype
There's one bulat thing that goes pusing-pusing at the right side of your message, and it will continue rollercostering until the person is online and read it. But, if there's other person turn on this person's laptop, and the laptop is set to automatically onlined-the skype; maybe it wasn't the right person who read it. So, don't go crazy just yet. Communicate with the person first, that's was what communication means.

And there's fb chat,ym,googletalk,msn, n many more that isn't as terer as the above or that I am not so terer to explore.

P/s: if it is done purposely, (mengelak from answering you) well, why don't you read back your question/sentence. Then maybe you'll know why yourself. And I did this too, and I really hope that person will get my message then, that I actually have nothing more to say, thus the silence. Sebab, memang takde benda nak cakap pun. Siyesly..

                                                                         the frustrated lemonade.

hari-hari adalah hari raya.I wish so.

Sabtu- hari pulun main masak-masak beramai-ramai. menjala bersama-sama,kemudian mempulun hasil jalaan bersama.tak,dapat satu je last-last. huhuhuhu. dapat tengok bunga api selama 15 minit, heartshape,unik dan cantik. tahun terakhir, glad we made it, finally.
Ahad- hari raya. pakai cantik2,muke senyum lawa2, hugs n kisses indah2, dan lauk pauk enak2. rindu family-unable to describe.
Hari ini: wahhhhh..I'm sure now that am fully grow up, and matured and far cooler than before. if I wasn't some volcano might have exploded. alkisah~~~ while withdrawing my, and my housemates money -ye,kami memang banyak duit.dalam mimpi- so, there are these anonymous group consists of a not so lady and two not so gentlemen loudly saying stuff that somehow, articulate my sense of anger and upsetness and turn me into a cameleon.a red face one. Really red one.
U know, the f*** and i****?
Ok, as today I read a quote at fb saying smtg that might sound like this; 'make ur anger too expensive for anyone to..err ape ntah.google sendiri. " so, ok. I am not angry. titik. Tapi...diskriminasi terhadap benua dan agama memang kasi sape2 je panaz kan?
 huh. memandangkan esok adalah hari selasa yang amat menyelesakan itu, eloklah kata2 itu masuk kubusyh je dulu. m getting my nap now. lalalalalalalala

sebab saya hantu tv

done with outlining and stuff..
Here comes the easiest part of all..
Writing the intoduction!!! hooorrrayyy!!!

1.1.1 WHY? *dah takde topik lain sangat dah ke??*

1.1.1.1 Because, I really, really, really too deeply in love with TV.

1.1.1.1.1 Because its FUN, fun, fun *yeah go rebecca black go*

-the end-

*my first encounter (and learning indirectly) with the word END was through watching a tv programme, which is, believe me, a hindustan movie aired by TV3 through 'panggung sabtu' slot.

minggu membaca

minggu membaca masuk hari ketiga beberapa ribu saat lagi.

Oleh itu, wajarlah sedikit review mengenai buku-bukas yang telah siap distadikan ditulis.
Ok. the review begins;




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Exactly as you read above, that was my review, after struggling all day and night studying,mentelaahting dan membacaing shiling.bilik.tidur itu.
Belum review pasal lantai...
Or blind bilik air yang baru siap dipasang selepas tiga minggu tingkap tu hanya memakai kertas surat kabar dan paperbag primark sebagai penutup diri..*ok, here is the lepasgeram part*








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I need ubat bagi jadi rajin!!!!!!!

Yes,please!

menonton bola petak-petak

OK, sangatlah penat and annoying tahap giler baban nyer biler tengok something yang live, tapi tersangkut-sangkut kat penyangkut invisible bernama internet meroyan.
ESSSSSSpecially bile bende live itu adalah bola.
Bola kot!
Sakit hati gila tengok bola tapi nampak ade bende petak-petak terapung sini sana (ye, bola tu jadi petak sebab screen freeze kadang-kadang)
Tapi takpe,
asalkan Terengganu menang, I'm OK je!
:)

I'm not going to say anything about Daudsu, coz really,  itu takdirlah..nak buat amcam mana kan?
The ball would still be IN if he didnt do that.
Either way, ade lagi 2 players hitam-putih belakang dier as back up.

OK. Stop there.
I wasnt planning to spend so many hours on football today, but really, its very refreshing...and I'm glad i watched it. ^_^

(i know i have no skill in drawing, tapi Penyu terimalah tanda Tahniah ku buatmu!)

Anyway, watch that video again again and again today...my heart pun jetlagg jugak now!!!
wish i could say the same thing like you did,
 "5 more days and i'll be home"
waaaa...syok ooooooo...

berangan, when actually the only thing i could say now is,
"5 more days and I'll be nutz if i didn't finish my assignments!"

heat!

too much heat heats and hits me lately..
with the issue of house rent yang memang kasi panas hati
the assignments yang bikin lagi panas je..
and also whatever foods that i have wrongly ate last week, which has successfully keep my stomach panas~~ for several days
and also those kenduri2 kawen yang sangat menduga hati dan jiwa nurani,
and also the summer heat,
25, 26, 27..thats too much,
for the first time, with the heater changed the role and became the fan,
and the window opens,
i still have to kipasing myself..
arrrrrrrrrrr i want winter back!!!
mode imaginasi seketika~~~~

perghhhhhhhhhhhhhh indahnya kalau dapat benam badan dalam ais like this right now!!!!!!!

HUGE HARD FACEPALM!!!




memanglah manusia tak berapa pandai nak bersyukur;
bila winter mintak summer, bila summer mintak winter.

if I can't get winter, then can I at least get this end sooner...coz i'm so rindu gila gila gila gila gila yang amat sangat!!! (boleh berdiskaun plak mintak doa kut lain~~)


ok thats it. lets end this.
>i'll be happy with the bath tub then. since i'm paying a LOT for that -sigh.. bukak pili air jangan tutup bak kata amirul..
hihihihii
padan muka marjon!! (patotlah panas 24jam..buat jahat je keja!!!)





>>SEDANG GILA! Whoever out there planning to/is running a research on the effect of heat towards human, please consider 'craziness' in your list! I'll be the sample, voluntarily!

Malaysia Boleh..

Malaysia Boleh...yeahhhh

*takde kaitan dengan mana-mana championship, liga, and so on so forth soo hoon*

Ini kisah hari ini,
Kisah hari Rabu yang indah.

I never thought that I would love a meeting, and today could be the exceptional one.
I love today's meeting.
Not for the outcome of the meeting,
not for the agenda of the meeting.,
nor the mood
neither the tone.
Not especially the VIPS of the meeting.

It was a dull, serious, tense, and confusing meeting. (meeting perumahan kot...what do you except)

The thing that i love about it was how we all seems so coordinated, and united, and blablabla, bersatu hati dan jiwa sekali.
its funny, tanpa disuruh dan di pesan, semua orang tidak gelak atau sengih bila mereka-mereka yang berkenaan tersebut buat lawak and gelak koir mereka masa meeting tadi.
I sukeeeeee giler!!! gelak guling-guling dalam hati

Dont get me wrong, I do hate war, and love peace,
but as for today... Its good to see that at such moment, kite jadi sangat serupa dan sama, though its a very negative mood.

Even though we are, most likely going to lose, but at least we have won the most crucial part of all. Right?

And, for the person in charge of our welfare, haii..pelik bin ajaib la minah blonde ni, boleh plak dier tanya aku balik kewujudan kes tersebut... marahhhhhhhhmarahhhh saya marah.

Cik M, saya rase saya dah mula dengan rasminya, kurang gemar terhadap anda.
Cik A pun sama.
urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..

bako kan student village ni baru die tau!!!!

Ulasan gambar: rumah termahal pernah aku diami, tanpa toilet tisu dan limited cleaning service + mesin basuh but n0 tumble dryer. Yeah...i'm lovin' it!

mood: stress with 2 assignment with such a close deadline, that I myself has set. urghhh

A list of lists...

So many books to read (and to buy), and lots of movies to watch...but my sleeping hours defeated all of them..
Now 4 in the morning, and eyes too-stubborn-to-shut, but would surely collapse if I started any of the readings..

*Sigh*

Trying my best to finish the reading before Malaysian Fest and Spring break...
Exercising all the sudden-popped-out-muscles..hehe thanks to West Dikir practisess..
Looking forward to have a chance for Temple Grandlin... **child psychology?
Missed a great opportunity to meet a great leader, admiring him all this while..huuuu....sobs sobs
Chatting with my 3 nieces, OK., the eldest one, 5 years old Kakak do the typing..not Iffa baby of course!. Its still raining and raining non stop at K.Terengganu... Alang cooked today, ooooo miss it! And, oh my, I think I might just dropped my kidney!! She typed 'dog' instead of 'dok' (Terengganu's tidak). :) ....hehehe, dear, Your aunt spelled 'Adang' instead of 'Abang' when she's 7. :)
and....urm... going to continue with the chatting now... ^_^
-t.b.cont.

oh ya, Q.ot.D:
 "Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim."- Bertrand Russell
hurm..everyone has been trying their best not to be the one who is dipijak by others..but while doing so, we have only one option left; to be the one who is pijaking others!  
OUCH! That sounds so....., -_-! Just makesure its not 5 inch heels~

Me, the manager to be!

Profession, career, occupation, work, job and any other words used to describe it are just words, all the same,. It means or at least refers to the same thing.

But same or similar, words you used tend to have 'different class'.

Like someone with a profession sounds a bit more 'ahaa' than someone with a job.

Today, I found out  a new term for my career/occupation/profession/job/work-to-be ;

'manager of learning'.

Sounds cool huh?

I heard engineer (bukan calang-calang punyer engineer, engineer of mind kot! ^_^), doctor, lawyer, artist, idol, (and the list dragged longer with non living things like candle, map, compass, chalk and etc)  but this is really the very first time to hear someone used the word 'manager'.

Cik Guru is one the best profession ever, they could be anything producing anything.

Kilang Baja Pokok Kaktus wont produce Kicap Masin and Software for photo editing can't help merge sounds and fade it in a song.
Ok, that would be a very weird comparison to act as an analogy. Let start it again, a doctor could heal a technician, a blogger or a singer but he can't 'produce' one. An engineer could make a gigantic tower, beautiful chalet and amazing airports but not another 'insan', if you know what i mean.

But an English teacher can 'produce' a successful bussinessman or  a tour guide or a doctor or a fashion designer,

and a Maths teacher can 'produce' a Prime Minister or a firefighter or a movie producer or even a tauke restaurant. And teachers of other subjects , they can ...(ok, don't want to make 1000miles long entry) But you got what i mean.i know. for sure.
Cikgu-cikgu also are great in drawing, designing, and arranging stuff (just look at the list of pertandingan kelas cantek or sekolah bersih) and they are the best in raising kids! <<<Fact! The biggest family i've encountered was a mother with 16 children but for a teacher, 16 is the very least number of students they have in a form, not in the whole school, and not for the whole year,not just yet. Undeniably, their responsibility are equals to  half-time parents to these children.

And anyway, is there any other profession with more nicknames than us? 

So thanks to our lecturer for introducing this term.. 

Whatever it is, the point here is not to be overly proud and blablabla but,

seriously I found it quite annoying (originally i typed very) when people went 'ohhh' or 'aaah' when i answered their questions. 

'Study ape yer?'

"TESL".

"-Oooo...." and that fellow (mind my words) went total silent, flipping her book or notes or whatever paper that 'looks-really-important' while pretending that there was never very the very rancak conversation happened two minutes before. 

its like,.. really, "What's wrong with our course? ..or our job-to-be?"

That conversation happened in a flight, last summer break. So, there we are, boarded the same flight, sat close to one another (indirectly; its the same-economy-class-seats), and obviously, travelling to and fro the same destination. So, why would you went with that 'Ooo'? uuuuh...

Next time if I happened to meet this type of person, I hope I would remember to say something like,

 "erm, saya bakal manager" (or engineer or yeah....)HAHA.

Urgh..not really. Really, not really. 

Cikgi or Cikga or Cikgu sounds ok to me. 

I'm cool with that.

Words are just words anyway. But....(yeah, there is a 'but' here), 

* just words but there's no harm in pretending to use it 'between you and yourself' as a way or medium to boost your ..hurm., motivation, aims, objective or whateversss, 

therefore, ehhurm.., this manager-to-be is going to sleep now because she has early class tomorrow and its overly-past midnight now.

Pablo Picasso said everything you can imagine is real..Oh..i'm starting to have a very beautiful imagination now...so i'm off with that.

i'm ok!

Pernah tak??
Mengalami kejadian-kejadian yang amat mistik seperti ini;
*Mistik di sini adalah bermaksud mysterious: having an import not apparent to the senses nor obvious to the intelligence; beyond ordinary understanding; "mysterious symbols"; "the mystical style of Blake"; "occult lore"; "the secret learning of the ancients" by http://www.thefreedictionary.com (tak jumpa kamus bahasa Melayu kat internet)


1. Komputer anda rosak, anda cuba jaya pelbagai gaya, kuak lentang dan kupu-kupu mahupun kura-kura, tetap tak berjaya. Terangkan pada pakar di kedai service komputer, dan tunjukan masalah itu, tibe-tibe, zupppp!!! Tadaaaa., your computer suddenly smile brightly with such a great shining eye, and proudly say "I'm OK!".
2. Anda tidak sihat. Demam. Macam nak mati punya tak larat. 2 hari tak ok jugak. So, anda di bawa ke klinik. Tiba-tiba sambil menunggu giliran, anda rasa lain macam. dan sejam kemudian doktor mengesahkan, 'eh, ok je?" suhu ok, BP ok, semua ok?. Tak demam pon........
3. Handphone takde line, eh tak dapat line. Tak dapat dan tak dapat. Semua orang dapat. Handphone pelbagai jenama kepunyaan pengguan berbagai syarikat telekomunikasi. Kawan anda ambik phone itu, dan cube, eh "I'm ok je.., dapat la...."
4. Pintu tak boleh bukak. Memang tak boleh. Betol, tak boleh. Sungguh ni. Orang tu datang tolong pun tak boleh jugak. Tiba-tiba, dalam keadaan bebelan masih tinggal 2 paragraph, orang yang baru datang dan cuba membantu tersenyum. Eh, dah ok la...!
5. Internet erm., wireless tak dapat connection langsung. Semua browser di cuba, semua cara di guna. Tak dapat. Bukak page yang kurang ilmiah seprti Ebay tak dapat. Page yang suci seperti Learning Space pun tak dapat. 2 hari 2 malam cubaan terus gagal. Masih tersangkut dengan nombor 45 itu.  Esoknya, sampai sahaja dalam IT suite, sambil terangkan pada pak cik yang baiki/ service internet connection di campus, tiba-tiba bila pakcik tu tengok laptop tuh, zxupp "I'm ok!". Tadaaaa..page hotmail, yahoomail, etcmail, facebook, legbook, penumbukbook semua kuar dengan sihat dan gemilangnya.'it's ok." said that pak cik.
mistik kan?
macam mana boleh ok tibe-tibe?
barang-barang kepunyaan sendiri itu, kenapa bila tuan dia buat dia tak nak ok, tapi kat kedai dia ok? dengan jayanye? dengan bergayanya?
ya..dengan jayanya, dan bergayanya barang-barang anda mengkianati anda dengan cara yang amat memalukan.

and the worst part is, nobody would believe you and your long explanation about how it happened.
and of course, you can't go back to the same shop/place to get help when you needed next time. not at least in a month.
Wait, how long people usually need to forget a poor face that made fool of herself by claiming her stuff did not work, (and apparently it is actually ok.)?


urghhhhmssshhhhhhhycfbyhaisdvpfbhweogfbsdhijkbcndikjslhcjxnmxduio!

Conflicts, if it is eatable, it sure is yummy...

Life is full of conflicts. According to the anonymous part of my brain, conflict, as what I learnt 2 or 3 years ago, is about 'communication failure' and also different preferences, views , goals and many more.. Especially when it is a errr....external conflict. Conflict with anyone and anything besides ourselves. -Can be a with a cat too...or with a computer or with Mak Cik konti yang jual maggi 2 pound 29 p sepaket..

Example of Conflict

THE SAYING: Dont judge a book by its cover.

..and the responses;
Positiver: Sometimes, we need to see beyond that. A cover is just a kind of erm...'appearance' to cover what's within it. 
Negativer: No..I would say no.. If its bad at one point, it means, it is... bad. Seriously, with that look on the cover, you are still interested?

Budgeter:  What's up with the cover anyway. The book will be much much expensive and yeah, we need a larger shelf because of it. Hardcover? I want to read, not making a belacan or win who-kill-mosquitoes-the-most competition.

Excuser: Then how do we know if we read the right one? I mean...errrr..the title?

Defender: Judging itself is an act of cruelty. Why do we have to act as a judge? We are not in the court anyway...

Others: I judge the way I want to. After all, its my eyes. 

That's conflict. If only it is eatable, it sure is yummy...considering how many flavours we would have in it. Honey nuts cornflake is extremely delicious already, having few more perisa should be good.

Merapu...merapu...

The point of merapuing again here, is to express my stress for having a..err 'internal conflict'.. Conflict with anyone but ourselves.

My conflict with my myself begins more than 2 decades ago. 

I said to myself everyday, do your work today, don't procrastinate. But I ended up doing it at the very last minute, and sometimes last seconds...that all the works weighed double on my shoulder until Head&Shoulder wouldn't do any good either.

I reminded myself to wake up early tomorrow, need to prepare for etc etc.. But I always press 'snooze' , and sometimes I didn't even turn the alarm on.

I promised to myself that I will stop shopping weird (unnecessary) stuff, and to start budgettng for my own future-sake. But I still scrolling down for new arrival products, buying things that are not even in my weekly or monthly or even yearly list. Carrying shopping bags with, weird choices in it.

I told myself to stop stay up late at night watching Korean drama series. But I never stopped doing it, and burnt my bedtime in front of my laptop, too. Nasib baik laptop ngan tuanyer tak terbakar sekali.

I always advise myself, lazy should not be a habit. It will turn into a form of incurable disease if practiced everyday. But I tend to be more and more lazy to even remember to not being a lazy girl. Errr ekh?

I repeated over and over again to myself, think of your action over and over again. Dont treat important thing as a simple thing. Choosing what module to learn is damn very important. And there's a big different between the word 'interest' and 'ability'. But, of course, I randomly picked my subject, and wonder about it after two weeks the lesson starts or sometimes on the day I received the assignment. Huh.

As what I can still remember, hurm...communication works best as a conflict solution. But talking to the stubborn me is such a useless attempt. Hence, let time heals it all....while the effort continues..

A drama without a conflict would not be a hit or in the hottest-drama list. (Like how Joo Won switched body with his lover to be and making things miserable and later his mom wont say yes to them, these conflicts work really well!)

But a life with too many conflicts will be like living in a bowl of hot Asam Laksa maggi. 

Sedapnyer...would be nice to have it now. 

I mean the maggi, not that 'conflicted-life'..

**Don't let your world diselubungi conflicts....

teksi, sekolah dan novel yang biasa.

hari Selasa macam biasa.

teksi,
masih mahal macam biasa.
lewat luar biasa.
rosak tanpa disangka.

sekolah,
masih tempat biasa,
berdiri tegap gagah perkasa,
di atas tanah,oh biasa.

novel,
bestnya hanya biasa-biasa.
cuba baca tekun macam biasa.
tapi gagal, mula rasa tak biasa.
mata tutup buku buka,
oh, itu luar biasa.

sekian.
yang biasa.

a product of heart

So finally the assignment left my room today. HUH,. i feel bad to admit this but dear assignment, sorry, I'm so not going to miss you.
Now its time to erm..complete my reward list.
As usual, a very lazy, unmotivated, easily-distracted, and merapuing student like me would need all those  motivational rewards to do her work.At least I'm hardworking enough to apply theories from mr. Maslow or Skinner or Pavlov or sape-sape la..aite?
So the list,
-watch AJL 25, AJL, I think I missed last year's one too..haihhh..
-watch a new drama series that my house mates almost katam by now..ketinggalan...
-watch all the drama2 that I've been patiently waiting to appear in tonton list..yeah tonton the loser tuu.. my friends found a new website, so cool. Everything of anything in it!
-watch..urhh watch lagi..
-finish the novels on my shelf.. yippiiiiii
-buy a new lamp!
Yeah..finallly. Hidup tanpa cahaya adalah ibarat hidup dalam kegelapan. Oh, Buying a cheap lamp that use a rare and expensive bulb is so like buying a super cheap printer that use super duper expensive ink. In order word, a serious buying mistake!. Urggggggh...

Oh and..
-Malaysia.
The hottest in the list.
I asked my mom a couple years ago, after went for groceries-hunting at ASDA, "why dont Malaysia export the chilies, and ulam2?"
*Best giler kot, makan nasi lauk sambal cili dari Malaysia..pergghhhhh...*
Chilies in ASDA is a product of Thailand, dried chilies at konti imported from India, Manchester's jersey is made in China, Nike's shoes from Vietnam, some Adidas stuff made in Laos and some are of Indonesia and Guess also comes with the same label 'made in China'. Those are Asian countries, so why can't we have watermelon from Malaysia here. Best kot..
My mom said...."kat kita pun kadang-kadang tak cukup stock. Kemarau, banjir. Nak export ke mane?"
Ok. Fine. Accepted. Why should I bother about it, anyway?
But out of sudden, this issue matters again. Last week, one of my parcel arrived, and to my surprise.., -really, I screamed like *&%@$ when my house mate came to my room, "Cuba tengok kat bawah kotak tu!!!" Erm..jap yer, nak snap gambar dier jap.

Ok. Now you know why we were so happy when we looked at the box. *Tibe-tibe terfikir, lau beli kat sana je, mesti ley kurang harga*
And later, as I was finalising my works with the references part, I couldn't smile better as I noticed this,

its weird. an irony.  Why would I get so excited about it. Tiba-tiba teringat iklan 'kasut buatan Gombak'. I guess, the reason for this excitement is simply, hurm...I miss Malaysia, so badly.And that's why I have this over-then-moon feeling just to see this 8 letters word. We would only notice the thing that we already have when we lose it. Said one of my lecturer at matrix. Erm..tak berkaitan kot? But still,
I'd surely make sure i'll come back and serve for my country.
:)

..tapi sebelum itu, encik airlines tolonglah murahkah harga tiket.

Terseksa jiwa asyik tengok empat angka kat list kamu tu. Sungguh.

Cut anddddd....action!

Its 10 ++ pm now. Mission to stay awake after 7pm seems to be more realistic lately. Managed to do so since, hurm..3 days ago.
Need to pangkah another date for today, which also means I have one day less to complete my assignment which due next week. erm, who said I'm not doing my assignment and lagha with internet? I am doing it now. Erm..i'm practicing...at least. Oh yes, 'practice makes perfect' is one of my favourite phrase..sometimes.
I've been in this practice stage since errr..last year week. Watched 3 Idiots (serious best!), Magika (citer lame gak, baru tengokkk) and also some other telemovies and dramass. No English movies in the list though. As long as its a movie, we can still regard it as a practice right? I am not acting weird here, this is exactly what normal homo-sapiens will do every second of their lives. Finding legal excuses or if not creating one at any cost to give a free pass or bright green light on what ever they are doing/did.  truth, it always hurts, but seldom kills.
back to work!
I wont be reviewing any of the movies or telemovies or drama that I watched  here (though re-watching Di Antara Garisan really urghh..really,..really..duhh..can I watch it again?.)
Just a bit of why I think a movie should not be a movie at all. I would accept it if its airs as a short commercial break eh, no-no I love commercial breaks so maybe erm..as a video posted somewhere at you-tube kot.


1. A horror movie: when the horror movie was promoted with words like 'best horror movie ever' 'you just can't stop screaming' and blablabla... its a Giant/Mydin/Tesco disappointment when until the very last second of that movie, the main character in the movie ie; the ghost/supernatural-spirit/weird creatures/etc do not come out. At all. While the other not-so-important characters in the movies keep on screaming and screaming and screaming.... and..errm yelling?  Maybe we need another genre, 'scream-to-death-by-anonymous-creature movie'.

Director:" Normal human eye can't see the ghost.
That's why we don't include them in this movie." *&^$#%@!

2. A triller movie. Its a triller, scary and with lots of blood in every part of the movie. Killing and killings, murders after murders. And the characters in the movie keep on trying to save themselves and others while some keep on tracking for a clue, searching for the killer....until the word 'the end' suddenly appeared on the screen. Of course viewers want to know who killed them!! (nak nak yang mati tu hensem/cun...uuuu)
'Shhhhh..' is just not an acceptable lame line to end a serial-killer movie. Oh wait, there's a sequel? Tell me before I watched the first one, at least I wont hesitate at all not to start watching it.

Movie X: Murdered tragically, burnt by an unknown audience...

3. A comedy. First, define comedy... What is a comedy if someone who is surely not in a mourning, not just being dumped by someone, not just failed exam and not sleepy cannot laugh at all through out the 100++ minutes movies?

now..everyone everything can laugh in many form ways....

Ok. Now I guess I'm done with my practice session now. Lets get to the real world work.




**There was a real movie that I am particularly thinking of while writing each. Seriously, I would remembered those movies, in a very infamous way. Know the movies? Shhhhh..

what is the real purpose of making a movie? 

I wanted to ask someone like David or Amitabh or Steven but they are busy with shooting now...hurm

how do we end an ending?

Few hours to leave 2010. (Lets use Malaysia time for now, its quicker!) I'm glad its over. Arghhh..another mix-feeling. Happy, sad, frustrated, glad, relieve, regret, gloomy, free, all well blended in a blender jenama hati.

a quick recap on 2010, .. Its been a bit hard, I think. I might actually have to admit that it records the highest usage of tears ever, excluding the years when I'm still in diapers la... 
Yes, I cried a lot this year. For far too many reasons to be list out here.
My last tears was recorded on..erm few days ago when I watched 3 Idiots. Yes, you can call me idiot for crying while watching a Bollywood movie. Arghh..banyak sangat yang tacci dalam movie tu!!gerrrammmm..
I really hope there'll be no more flood for 2011, and the coming years...
Crying is indeed tiring. Always.

Anyway, enough of tears. I did smiles a lot too this year. And I dont have too many reasons for that. Just a few. A few that really mean so much more to me. More than any of everything.

you would always be a strong reason for me to keep smiling,
be it hard or easy. far or near. 

Dah dah..jom pergi tahun 2011 now!

farewell, 2010.

Actually, I am so excited with 2011 because, erm, yeah mainly because I don't like my calendar. x_x .
Alasan yang sangat merapu untuk mulakan tahun baru. But really this is my main intrinsic+extrinsic motivation factor right now. The one that I use now didn't match my room and it is not cute **biasalah..calendar free..nak cantek beli sendiri!
Its purple, makan banyak space that I have to crop it, and it is actually promoting awareness on meningtis which is good but I just can't stare that kind of pictures too much so..erhhhhm..ok last point, it starts with september and ends with jun, which is so not effective for me since I still have days to cross before flying back to my water-land. Tak pasal kena buat mini kalendar kat A4 paper t. So that's why, kadang-kadang I feel like nak pangkah kalendar tu 2-3 kali sehari. 

walaupun kena belek page baru tiap bulan,
its comel and + space to menulis, I love writing!

So from tomorrow, I can start using the other one! yahooorrayy!! I bought it 3 months ago, and was counting days to use it since then. ^_^. 
So, Welcome 2011.
Lets face it, 'stronger and better'! InsyaAllah...