...and the foot steps that I leave behind

Friday, December 30



He loves me.
and thats enough. 

Thursday, December 29


the glass
when i am a little, naive innocent girl, aged somewhere less than 10 or 9..
every time i broke one of my mum's glasses set, i'll take some of the broken pieces..
couldn't remember who actually taught me of this first,
but it is what i, my brothers, and my sisters, and my other friends and neighbours of the same age group did;
we buried the glass pieces.
no, nothing 'ritual'...
its just that someone of someone of someone of whom i nor longer remember taught us that,
that was how marble was made. the marbles, those we used to play congkak and jentik-guli and all sort of other games. knowing that 'fact', we, as the always-genius-scientific-wannabe children of course would be tempted to experiment and experience this.
surely when i broke a glass i felt extremely guilty, and scared...some of them are really those beautiful and not those washing powder gift away glasses. but, the semangat to actually made my own guli is far more important. and if the pieces have this colourful corak and flowers and what not, we became even more excited, and started to imagine how our marbles would look like.
the marble
the funny thing is, after 6 months we would try to dig the place where we buried it, in case it has turned into a marble, and as far as i could remember, i never found it. not even the original broken glass. what a frustrated moment. i think, during those years, i have buried or in a smarter words; i have made the attempt to create my own marbles for more than five times. sadly, i have forgotten where was it. might worth checking now.. ^^,

it sounds stupid whenever i remember it again, but actually, i kinda miss it.
i miss those moments.
i miss those years.
i miss the old me.
the young, innocent and so not-guilty me.
the one who accidentally killed her plant for treating it too well, -by letting the plant 'drink' milo in the morning, sirap at noon, tea at evening and sometimes the good-for-growth-milk...
the one who felt terribly sad when that plant died..

children dont tell lies.
because they are too innocent to do that.
thats why at that age, when i picked up the phone. i'll say , "dier kate dier tak ada di rumah"..
cliche'. every kids in the world do that.

i can't go back to those years...
i can't rewind my life no matter how much i want to.
my past is no longer mine.
there's so many things that happened in the past that i want to change, but that chance does not exist in the past...its now.

Monday, December 19

mending me

in the process of mending the almost collapsed me, 
how i wish i had never been late.. never.
no point of regretting, the path is still long ahead..
and InsyaAllah, with His will..

will be writing again,
if there's another 'again' again for me...

pray for me,
 i know, nice people like you would surely would. :)

Wednesday, December 14

takut, aku penakut.






Tuesday, December 13

blind spot.

buat apa cari yang sempurna, tapi tak mampu menyempurnakan.
buat apa yang ada kelebihan, kalau kelebihan itu tak menambah apa-apa pun.

ini adalah kata-kata seseorang yang tersentak, dan terjaga dengan alarm yang paling bingit dari lamunan fairytalenya yang sudah pasti tak akan jadi realiti.
betterlah alarm bingit tu, dari sakit kene gigit tebuan kan?

apa aku merepek ni?
oh ya, itu.

selalu sangat dan sangat selalu memohon dan berdoa semoga diri mendapat bimbingan dan petunjukNya.
tapi jarang sangat dan sangat jarang sedar yang petunjuk itu tak pernah hilang, kecuali diri sendiri yang tak mahu pandang.

Friday, December 9


its exam day today, after 2 years, the first and sudden exam for a paper containing 6 questions, 3 that we have to choose and answer within 2 hours. I do not have much to say about the exam, but this;
The worst thing that could happen to you in an exam is not that "you can't answer the question because you don't know the answer, but that "you know the answers but you can't answer it".
And that was what happened to me today,

But its not the end of the world, -quoting from someone, in KB.

Friday, December 2


You make me went on saying
Aduh, aduh, aduh, duh duh duh duh duh duh duh
Ohh, aduhhh, aduh, aduh, duh, duh duh duh duh duh duhhhh


Sunday, November 27


aku suka bergayut. bergayut yang mengikut definisi Ox-Youth Dictionary, bukan Cam-Tarzan Dictionary.
bergayut tu best. best sangat. kalau rase nak call sape2, i'll makesure dah settle semua makan,tandas,homework*konon*, and juga mata dalam keadaan segar. coz my bergayut session never ended less than half an hour. it will go up to 3 hours, sometimes.
 mungkin sebab tu, abah tak suka angkat phone kalau aku yang call. kalau dier terangkat dah phone tu, dier akan cakap apa yang mampu, tanya apa lagi yang perlu dan cepat-cepat pass kat orang lain. yang sweetnya is that after he passed the phone to others, mom usually, within few seconds, suara dia akan kedengaran balik, untuk seketika.
"Tepi sikit". Abah akan hantar kerusi, bagi orang yang berkenaan duduk. memahami betul perangai kaki bergayut anaknya. Kalau dia rasa ada topik yang dier pun nak cakap sama, atau memang takde siapa-siapa yang available untuk dipasskan phone tu, abah akan mengexcuse diri sekejap, pergi ambil kerusi atau perlahankan tv. mungkin nanti bila aku balik kene ubah suai ruang telefon tu, bagi ada kerusi siap-siap. ^_^.
tapi ada masalah lain jugak, aku cakap phone gune earphone, dengan ada mike sambungan lagi. so tangan aku tak lenguh, boleh sambil kutip-kutip bendaasing atas lantai pulak.  abah kena give-up jugak, bila tangan kiri and kanan dua-dua surrender.

 that's why i love you. you are the best dad in your own way. and you try. and always try to please me by any possible way. penat kaki, cari kerusi, penat tangan tukar-tukar.penat lagi, abah nominate sapa-sapa je yang pass by. kalau tak pass by, abah akan pass-by kan mereka.

reader digest tahun 2005 atau 2006 ada tulis, Malaysia antara negara yang budi bahase nye kurang. sebab tak macam mereka, kite tak bukakkan pintu and hold it for others, kite tak itu dan ini. kita sendawa (huh??) atau ape-ape jelah.
abah saya memang tak bukak pintu untuk kami masuk kerete, dan kadang-kadang kene marah pulak sebab tutup pintu tu kuat atau slow sangat.
tapi, abah saya  tolong passkan phone kat semua ahli rumah bagi saya yang duk 6000 batu lebih dengar suare semua orang dan tolong bawakan kerusi untuk orang-orang berkenaan bersembang dengan saya.
culture is subjective. same goes with most of other things. which is why, stop calculating, you wont find a,b,c as the answer.

-and for today's one hour and half gayuting, I got 1 new nephew. and he would be a maal hijrah baby if he was born here.  salam maal hijran lambat sehari untuk yang di UK dan tepat sehari untuk yang di Malaysia. *none is wrong, tak ada apa yang salah tentang perbezaan tarikh ini*

Thursday, November 24

punningly pening me.

As he asked in a very serious tone, 'is there anymore question from the floor?", I don't know what sort of illness I have that makes me giggle while looking at the floor, searching for questions,in case the floor would speak to me and pass the question..I must be crazy..or even more the moment he caught me giggling when he throw a serious question .like, I'm dead.really am..macam xde lecturer lain ko nak main2!

And there's another lecturer of mine yang suke uses phrases like 'bear in mind that' 'bear in mind this', well, it is ok, except that everytime she said that, there'll be a grizzly bear, or polar bear, or even my pooh dancing along in my mind. And its super hard to make no one in the class heard my 'insane laugh' or at least a chuckle...tahan gelak is at some point much harder than tahan sakit, if u know what I mean!

There was 1 night that we called 'emergency night', happened almost 3 weeks ago. we had this conversation about garlic and onion, and honey, and lemon. -And I joined the conversation, and lalalalala, until after 5 minutes the rancak conversation suddenly  stopped when someone asked this; 'eh, why does this halia suddenly masuk in our conversation?". at that point, I knew, it must be me. the culprit. everytime people talk about garlic, my brain would then imagine a picture of ginger instead. And I would continue with ginger on and on until someone stop me.

Stop punning me,I'm so pening dah.

Tuesday, November 22

the most wanted word..

my visit to dinding jagung turned out to be very fruitful today, despite the nausea-dizzyhead-whatsoever sympstom I had to endured in our 1 hour plus journey to the school..kat Malaysia lagi byk cikgu2 yg kembara lagi lame nak gi sekolah kan? cekgu-cekgu are the best!! :)
We were asked to teach some of Malay words to our tutorial group today, great experience.. and after the session ended, I asked one of the girls, if there's anything else or any words they want to learn.

"What's LOVE in Malay?" (as expected...)
"LOVE is CINTA. CIN-TA" I said repeatedly. She frowned, and ask a rather unexpected question;
"Erm, is that a Chinese word? its sounds like Chinese word"
"No, no its not. LOVE in Chinese language would be AI. Like I-LOVE-YOU, is WO-AI-NI" (hahaha..the love expert in de making!!)

"oh..ok. Erm, I wonder, why does Chinese has a very different letters,alphabet unlike other languages? They have line, and cross...and..I don't know"
Terer betol soklan budak ni. As a tesl student, I didn't learn linguistic features to that extend..not that deep.. so,
"Well, honestly, I also don't know. its a very old language..it was used and created ages ago..sorry..I really don't know"
Maaflah dik, akak pun belajar lagi..tau 3 patah tu je (kredit to KRU and, MatLUTfi)
"But actually,  we have another word which also means LOVE. SAYANG also means LOVE in Malay. SA-YANG. Perhaps its easier for you to learn"
"Yeah, thanks" -happy gila muka dier...

Sempat mendirikan sebuah masjid too!! (taj mahal, said one of the students)

If I were to learn other languages, especially the one used in a country that I want to visit, 2 things that I would want to learn; thank you and sorry....they seem to matter more to me. :)

Sunday, November 20


Harap Maklum: Ini hanyalah sekadar Contoh. sahaja. Jika temuduga anda masih gagal, sila googlekan contoh yang lain.

Calon-calon sila jangan terlupa untuk memasukan butiran-butiran berikut di dalam kotak 'pengalaman'

**resume kawin la..

Jika bertanda (X) pada petak L;
1. Kebolehan: Saya pernah menjadi imam kat sekolah masa tingkatan dua, masuk nasyid di sekolah rendah, sajak, dan...
2. Kesukanan: Wakil lumba lari, sepak takraw, dan berkebolehan bermain serta pandai mengulas match bola sepak..etc etc etc,
3. Ketokohan: Selalu memegang jawatan ketua kelas, ketua rumah sukan, ketua kelab sejarah, ketua-ketua, ...
4. Kemasyarakatan: Saya pandai bergaul dengan masyarakat tanpa mengira usia dan latar-belakang, sentiasa melibatkan diri dalam diskusi isu-isu semasa di kedai kopi, kedai milo, kedai abc, kedai-kedai, ...

Jika bertanda (X ) pada petak P;
1 .Memasak: saya tahu memasak, bermula umur 11 tahun, saya belajar goreng telur and then saya masak air, goreng keropok, kuih, sekarang dan pandai ayam masak...nasi...
2. Menjahit: saya pernah membantu emak memasukan benang kedalam jarum sejak umur 8 tahun lagi, jahit butang baju ayah, nametag dan lencana  kat tudung sekolah,...
3. Menjaga anak: saya pernah menjaga dengan jayanya anak buah,anak jiran, anak kucing, anak rabbit, anak..
4. Mengemas: saya tak pernah dapat kad kuning setiap kali ada spotcheck kat asrama, student village, etc etc etc..



Friday, November 18

TOP LIAR DETECTORS!! -of mrs.tech n co.

1. Entry ini tiada niat untuk memberi promosi percuma kepada mana-mana pihak secara berbayar mahupun percuma.
2. Entry ini juga ditulis berdasarkan apa yang penulisnya tahu sahaja.
3. Entry ini TIADA niat untuk merosakan plan-plan penipuan sesiapa, atau membantu anda mengupgrade skill menipu. sekian.

When Mrs Technology and Co. memberitahu sesuatu, beri perhatian.

1. BBM: when chatting with someone or message someone to tell something, important or not, and there's no reply for that. take note on the letters and mark at the chats line.
Single tick, well the message is on its way. so, sabar, its ur gadgets fault.
The letter D, it has been delivered to that person. but, sabarlah, dier belom membacanya lagi. mungkin ke tandas kot??
The letter R, ok. the message has ben read. why no respond? ask that personlah....

2. Whatsapp.
Single tick (again) also means it is on its way to the other pihak.
Double ticks, it has safely arrived. But, it doesn't mean its been read yet or not. so,
Check up there, besides the name of the message receiver, if its stated 'online' (italic) errm.. that person is busy chatting wif someone else? kotttt... if not, it will show a longer line like ' last seen yesterday at 00:15' (italic).so, if your message was sent much much  earlier than 00:15 yesterday, the message receiver actually dah nampak dah mesej tu.. Ask that personlah nape tak reply. Try call, whatsapp dier rosak kot.

3. Skype
There's one bulat thing that goes pusing-pusing at the right side of your message, and it will continue rollercostering until the person is online and read it. But, if there's other person turn on this person's laptop, and the laptop is set to automatically onlined-the skype; maybe it wasn't the right person who read it. So, don't go crazy just yet. Communicate with the person first, that's was what communication means.

And there's fb chat,ym,googletalk,msn, n many more that isn't as terer as the above or that I am not so terer to explore.

P/s: if it is done purposely, (mengelak from answering you) well, why don't you read back your question/sentence. Then maybe you'll know why yourself. And I did this too, and I really hope that person will get my message then, that I actually have nothing more to say, thus the silence. Sebab, memang takde benda nak cakap pun. Siyesly..

                                                                         the frustrated lemonade.

Thursday, November 17


Not in the right state of mind. Not even the right district.
Coz I'm in the left side. left, the past tense of leave.

Really, seriously,
I wish you would go away,
But the problem is,
We both know that
You are away.

I love to put myself into trouble.
And would only hate it when I realised that I'm already in it.
No difference. I'm still stuck here anyway.

Thursday, November 10

little little things

you know how little little things could change and do something beyond ordinary expectation?

Little small typo mistake like the letter m and n,
Little smiley at the end of a short chat message
Little small bowl of soup and bits of fruit
Little ping and buzz and toin and etc
Little stripes of coolfevers and pills
Little question mark after the letter O and K
Little simple hand and eyes signals

And just a little prayer that was sent from afar.

It could change 39 to become 37.

Just little examples..yet so many more that could show  how small little things that was made with great effort and love, small things that came along with huge value and tiny little mistake that was simply overlook could give tremendous effect to someone's life. Therefore, learn to see and appreciate these little little things, because at the end every big stuff  begins from a small dot. Every big mistake also starts with a little error.

Like every long blogpost starts with letter ABC,      -ok fine micheal, its literacy! *********

Monday, November 7

hari-hari adalah hari raya.I wish so.

Sabtu- hari pulun main masak-masak beramai-ramai. menjala bersama-sama,kemudian mempulun hasil jalaan bersama.tak,dapat satu je last-last. huhuhuhu. dapat tengok bunga api selama 15 minit, heartshape,unik dan cantik. tahun terakhir, glad we made it, finally.
Ahad- hari raya. pakai cantik2,muke senyum lawa2, hugs n kisses indah2, dan lauk pauk enak2. rindu family-unable to describe.
Hari ini: wahhhhh..I'm sure now that am fully grow up, and matured and far cooler than before. if I wasn't some volcano might have exploded. alkisah~~~ while withdrawing my, and my housemates money -ye,kami memang banyak duit.dalam mimpi- so, there are these anonymous group consists of a not so lady and two not so gentlemen loudly saying stuff that somehow, articulate my sense of anger and upsetness and turn me into a cameleon.a red face one. Really red one.
U know, the f*** and i****?
Ok, as today I read a quote at fb saying smtg that might sound like this; 'make ur anger too expensive for anyone to..err ape ntah.google sendiri. " so, ok. I am not angry. titik. Tapi...diskriminasi terhadap benua dan agama memang kasi sape2 je panaz kan?
 huh. memandangkan esok adalah hari selasa yang amat menyelesakan itu, eloklah kata2 itu masuk kubusyh je dulu. m getting my nap now. lalalalalalalala

Tuesday, November 1

A day lesson with the kucings...

1.1 Does visual/moving images really help in 'accelerating the learning process'?

*warning: a very OPEN mind and heart needed for this lesson*

ok. class dah tamat.
so, what's the lesson again?

1.2 Well, I guess it does. aite?

< ^_~ >

Thursday, October 27

sebab saya hantu tv

done with outlining and stuff..
Here comes the easiest part of all..
Writing the intoduction!!! hooorrrayyy!!!

1.1.1 WHY? *dah takde topik lain sangat dah ke??* Because, I really, really, really too deeply in love with TV. Because its FUN, fun, fun *yeah go rebecca black go*

-the end-

*my first encounter (and learning indirectly) with the word END was through watching a tv programme, which is, believe me, a hindustan movie aired by TV3 through 'panggung sabtu' slot.

Monday, October 24


sad.very very very very sad.
this is how sad i am.
saat berkabung untuk pemergian kau yang setia.


we haven't even celebrate our 10th anniversary together..and that was like, only 4 months away!!!

kau yang baik,
i know, i have abandoned you many many times.,
neglected you,
ignore you,
and curang to you..

but deeply inside i do love you.
for loyalty isn't available easily everywhere..

i love you...

-this is a tribute for a loyal watch who have watched the time flew with me when i'm still a hingusan girl until whoever i have become now, your loyalty and services for me for almost ten years is highly appreciated. i promise not to find a new replacement so soon.-
Abah's daughter.

Sunday, October 23

minggu membaca

minggu membaca masuk hari ketiga beberapa ribu saat lagi.

Oleh itu, wajarlah sedikit review mengenai buku-bukas yang telah siap distadikan ditulis.
Ok. the review begins;


Exactly as you read above, that was my review, after struggling all day and night studying,mentelaahting dan membacaing shiling.bilik.tidur itu.
Belum review pasal lantai...
Or blind bilik air yang baru siap dipasang selepas tiga minggu tingkap tu hanya memakai kertas surat kabar dan paperbag primark sebagai penutup diri..*ok, here is the lepasgeram part*

I need ubat bagi jadi rajin!!!!!!!



People said one  single word could be like a sword.sharp.a death sentence.
People also said,'saying words' isn't like sailing a boat. no Uturn. 'Dead'-road.
People said lotsa things about it.
U know what I think?
If you say nasty things, then maybe sword it is.
If you say bad things, then only u'll look for a Uturn.
But what if you say nice things only?

Hey, read this; words to me are like a see-through dress of your heart. or even your brain,maybe.
So pick up nice and pretty stuff *only* to say.
A fashioniesta heart in da making!!!

What say u?
Check your wardrobe mates!! :)


Sunday, October 16


Satu perbualan yang sangat pendek,
dua suara dari dua pelusuk berasingan.
tapi isinya bukan sekadar padat,
tapi berat, berat yang amat.

Bumi kan bulat.
Putarannya sama, tak senget dan tak condong ke mana pun.
walau ceruk mana pun, sinar matahari akan sampai.
walau ceruk mana pun, takkan tandus bumi Tuhan
Sebab tulah ada peribahasa,
bumi mana yang tak ditimpa hujan?

sod ba ra
dan jangan berhenti.

dari 10 perkara yang berlaku,
9 mungkin mengecewakan kita,
tapi kan masih ada yang 1?
jangan pernah kau lupa.
dan insyaAllah aku juga takkan lupa.

tanya sama pokok...

Pokok takkan summer,
Bunganya takkan spring.
Kalau akar sudah autumn,
dan baja pula winter.

i love trees. and i can't list any reason for why.

On our last Friday gathering, Isna pointed out one really significant point, the one that I have always thinking of. We are the lands, and everything else about us would be the trees that grew on the lands. If the tree represent faith, while the fruits and the flowers are the good deeds, would the fruit or flower of mine be in singular or plural form?

click the word pokok. <3

Monday, October 3

of Kelana Convoy, Summer Break and 'dizzy year'

as you can see from the title, this post will be very very very very insanely pack coz i'm so malaz to write an entry for each, apatah lagi satu hari travel satu entry like i used to..berangan of. well, thats how we define berangan k!

to begin this.., I had a really really really marvelously *splendid* warm tour around the Europe, exploring Belgium, Austria, Holland, Germany, Amsterdam, Italy, Vatican City and Paris within 15 days last..errr June!

I guess Kelana Convoy has everything that you (anyone who is crazy enough to conquer almost 70% of Europe within 2 weeks and strong enough to make sure the word tired would remain absence till the end) need!

The thing that i would say; i love most about this trip was the friendship that i gain, strengthen and perhaps build there. They are all mysteriously best yang tak terkata! ^_^...never imagine that 15 days could grow such a good friendship!  Meeting lotsa new friends; Malaysian from variety age groups, but sangat sporting and best giler, few karoake bands yang sudi menghiburkan malam yang sepi :p , kind hearted Indonesian families and baby Rifa yang lucu bangat, a group of Bruneian students yang sangat friendly, and also 2 gentlemen from India who are so down to earth. 
- And the food can fall in the second place. Wonderfullly, the crews never forget to keep our stomach fullll through out the trip. Something that is surely hard to get when we are on a long journey: "a happy stomach". Thankssss a lot to them.
the third place would be for.... the places that we went. hehehe..at the end, the main point of the journey would have to be the last to mention.
Swiss Alps! *tak terkata*
8 countries, as warned by the crews during the ice-breaking session on the very first day, my views on certain places changed. Italy, who used to be one of the places that I want to visit the most, turned out to be the one that I wouldn;t want to go again. Its toooooo hot, errr a bit dirty, and err..i dont know, i dont make any 'friends' there. Switzerland should won 'the best country to visit in Europe' title.  Sangat sangat sangat best, lagi best kalau pegi sana poket tebal! :D Maybe I like it most because of the weather, and the nature beauty or maybe  because of the 'cutest coincident' where my friends from the other tour group met us there, heheheheeehehehe..kan comel tu, jumpe kawan2 kat trip!
 A place would never be as beautiful if you aren't happy, so, thanks Kelana Convoy for making this journey a worth one! 

That should wrap up my second year nicely, and begin my summer break with a bit of sunburn effect.0_o  My summer break was wonderful, except that it ends rather too fast. thus, there's not much to write about it. the end. hahahaha.
Of course. I had great time with my family huhahuha here and there, there's teary teary moment too, of course, as the saying goes 'which earth that didn't rain" (hamek nko, cikgu innovative mmg macam ni) but, but tears are the reason that makes smile's value becomes infinity..at least this year we had it in blue rather than white. :) -perhaps only very few people will get this.
oh, and i also meet up friends, this isn't any random outing, its the after 2 years being far apart reunion!!. ecewah...
Thanks a million to those who spent their time with me, and filling this 3 months with lots of memories that i wouldnt forget easily.. you know who you are. and even more, you know how much i appreciate it :)

lastly, this is the dizzy year full with 'dissy' work. So, its gonna be a very very very very busy year. 
best of luck to everyone who are in their final year or dissertation year, lets do our best for it., and to those graduated this year, (arrr stressnyer tgk pictures anda) Congratz. enjoy your new lembaran in life. :)

PIC : when i was berkelana!

House 13: our group name mase lam trip. Who dare to forget that? >:)
Euro sign at the centre of, Germany!
Vatican City, one of the smallest countries. 
wooden shoes from Belanda! 

giant letters kat Amsterdam. ehem, tak dapat masuk lorong merah..hahaha

Austria dan keindahan ciptaanNya yang amat mengagumkan.

i kinda forget kat mane ni..tapi mmg cantek tempatnya. :) peacee

Dan Brown!
*kenapa gambar ni terbalik?hah, the PorcelainWedges code. :p

Gondola di Venice, dan beberape pak cik yang x berape nak ramah.

Saturday, October 1

how anehnya...

heart isn't made of glass,
then why it always breaks into pieces?

how anehnya,, 
hati bukanlah sekeping kayu, 
lalu apa sebenarnya yang patah?

Thursday, August 25

Piala Pahala

" Pahala la Anim"
"Piyala"..she replied back..

When my niece repeatedly mistaking these two words, i grew tired trying to correct her, without even realizing  how correct she is.
Pahala dan piala... kan serupa tu?
Dua-dua pun adalah rewards for what we did right?
cuma bezanya, one we can see with bare eyes, and the other can't.

di bulan Ramadhan ni,
rewards mana yang kita nak kejar? Pahala dariNya yang orang lain tak nampak, atau sekadar mencari yang mane boleh dilihat oleh mata kasar orang lain...
pergi terawikh sebab nak kumpul pahala ke, sebab nak kelihatan di masjid, di kala bulan yang setahun sekali ini?

Aku syukur sangat-sangat masih diberi kesempatan bertemu bulan ini tahun ini.
Semoga dipermudahkan usaha kami menjadikan Ramadhan tahun ini lebih bermakna dan terisi lagi berbanding tahun yang sudah...

jom, dengan hari yang masih tinggal sedikit di dalam bulan mulia ini,
kita kejar Piala Pahala Ramadhan same-same...
kumpul banyak-banyak, biar melimpah ruah.
untung-untung, dapat hiasi 'rumah sementara', selain dapat bawa pergi ke sana yang kekal abadi.

Thanks Anim, you sure are such an inspiration,
Thank you Allah , for keeping me on Your path.. :)

Thursday, June 16

32 summer's rain.

Current situation at Marjon: Raining Summer.

this year, for this summer we have something extravaganza!!! it rains a lot. 
1. hujan air turun dari langit.
2.hujan air turun dari mata
3.hujan ...errrr..geli skit, peluh buat esaiment.

exactly the time that makes me miss my payung so much.
model payung (tak berbayar) import dari turki

Ok, fine. No.
not really that payung la....
at this time of the year...
the only payung that i want is my home.

huwaaaaa lagi

huwaaa lagi sekaliiiii

I got this angan2 when I'm a little girl, yang taklah little sangat dulu2.
The year that Kuch Kuch Hota Hai femesemes tu... dari filem tu, I was like really teringin nak pergi luar and then have my picture somewhere kat newspaper, part 'salam perantauan' and saying stuff like "Saya ingin mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Z&B pada semua...family...rakan...guru...etc... Makan ketupat tu, jangan lupa orang di sini..Jari disusun...angpau..etc etc etc etc"
 Auww what a sweet innocent dream!
To dearest 8 years old me, sorry, this very grown up me would have to say this: hatiku tak cukup macho untuk menahan godaan kerinduan ini. Sekian. 
That would be the end of that dream. I'm leaving for good next year..

To my loveable and attractive assignments; I'm so sorry for what I have and haven;t done for you. was trying out all i can. cinca!

and to my Abah and Maa: HAPPY 32ND ANNIVERSARY!!!!
hehehehe..inilah point sebenar post ni. 
32 tahun!!!!
really, is there anyone who would want to be with me for such a long 32 years? 
People said, if its the right person who's sitting next to you, you tend to forget about the time. so, be it 32 years or even 52 years, it might not be too long for some couple. It never be too long...as it would never be enough. 

perasaan, perasaaan.... summer's rain in my heart la lagu ni......

To all my friends who's getting married, or dah married, or bertunang, merisik and what not..
TAHNIAH!!! :)  (baling-baling kelopak bunga skit2)
praying the best for you-, two.
Now, you better pray back for me.
Hands up!


Saturday, June 11

menonton bola petak-petak

OK, sangatlah penat and annoying tahap giler baban nyer biler tengok something yang live, tapi tersangkut-sangkut kat penyangkut invisible bernama internet meroyan.
ESSSSSSpecially bile bende live itu adalah bola.
Bola kot!
Sakit hati gila tengok bola tapi nampak ade bende petak-petak terapung sini sana (ye, bola tu jadi petak sebab screen freeze kadang-kadang)
Tapi takpe,
asalkan Terengganu menang, I'm OK je!

I'm not going to say anything about Daudsu, coz really,  itu takdirlah..nak buat amcam mana kan?
The ball would still be IN if he didnt do that.
Either way, ade lagi 2 players hitam-putih belakang dier as back up.

OK. Stop there.
I wasnt planning to spend so many hours on football today, but really, its very refreshing...and I'm glad i watched it. ^_^

(i know i have no skill in drawing, tapi Penyu terimalah tanda Tahniah ku buatmu!)

Anyway, watch that video again again and again today...my heart pun jetlagg jugak now!!!
wish i could say the same thing like you did,
 "5 more days and i'll be home"
waaaa...syok ooooooo...

berangan, when actually the only thing i could say now is,
"5 more days and I'll be nutz if i didn't finish my assignments!"

Saturday, June 4


too much heat heats and hits me lately..
with the issue of house rent yang memang kasi panas hati
the assignments yang bikin lagi panas je..
and also whatever foods that i have wrongly ate last week, which has successfully keep my stomach panas~~ for several days
and also those kenduri2 kawen yang sangat menduga hati dan jiwa nurani,
and also the summer heat,
25, 26, 27..thats too much,
for the first time, with the heater changed the role and became the fan,
and the window opens,
i still have to kipasing myself..
arrrrrrrrrrr i want winter back!!!
mode imaginasi seketika~~~~

perghhhhhhhhhhhhhh indahnya kalau dapat benam badan dalam ais like this right now!!!!!!!


memanglah manusia tak berapa pandai nak bersyukur;
bila winter mintak summer, bila summer mintak winter.

if I can't get winter, then can I at least get this end sooner...coz i'm so rindu gila gila gila gila gila yang amat sangat!!! (boleh berdiskaun plak mintak doa kut lain~~)

ok thats it. lets end this.
>i'll be happy with the bath tub then. since i'm paying a LOT for that -sigh.. bukak pili air jangan tutup bak kata amirul..
padan muka marjon!! (patotlah panas 24jam..buat jahat je keja!!!)

>>SEDANG GILA! Whoever out there planning to/is running a research on the effect of heat towards human, please consider 'craziness' in your list! I'll be the sample, voluntarily!

Thursday, June 2

Malaysia Boleh..

Malaysia Boleh...yeahhhh

*takde kaitan dengan mana-mana championship, liga, and so on so forth soo hoon*

Ini kisah hari ini,
Kisah hari Rabu yang indah.

I never thought that I would love a meeting, and today could be the exceptional one.
I love today's meeting.
Not for the outcome of the meeting,
not for the agenda of the meeting.,
nor the mood
neither the tone.
Not especially the VIPS of the meeting.

It was a dull, serious, tense, and confusing meeting. (meeting perumahan kot...what do you except)

The thing that i love about it was how we all seems so coordinated, and united, and blablabla, bersatu hati dan jiwa sekali.
its funny, tanpa disuruh dan di pesan, semua orang tidak gelak atau sengih bila mereka-mereka yang berkenaan tersebut buat lawak and gelak koir mereka masa meeting tadi.
I sukeeeeee giler!!! gelak guling-guling dalam hati

Dont get me wrong, I do hate war, and love peace,
but as for today... Its good to see that at such moment, kite jadi sangat serupa dan sama, though its a very negative mood.

Even though we are, most likely going to lose, but at least we have won the most crucial part of all. Right?

And, for the person in charge of our welfare, haii..pelik bin ajaib la minah blonde ni, boleh plak dier tanya aku balik kewujudan kes tersebut... marahhhhhhhhmarahhhh saya marah.

Cik M, saya rase saya dah mula dengan rasminya, kurang gemar terhadap anda.
Cik A pun sama.

bako kan student village ni baru die tau!!!!

Ulasan gambar: rumah termahal pernah aku diami, tanpa toilet tisu dan limited cleaning service + mesin basuh but n0 tumble dryer. Yeah...i'm lovin' it!

mood: stress with 2 assignment with such a close deadline, that I myself has set. urghhh

Saturday, May 21


mother nature;
question number one: why must it be, 'mother-nature'? (what about father?grandfather?and the neighbours?)
question number two: what kind of question is that?


anyway, thanks to Madam again,
we managed to see the other part of Mount Edgecombe today.
Arrrr..russaaa i like!
and mesmerizing alam, flora esp.. and the lovely view while picnicking ^_^
Thank you Allah swt for these gifts. Aborrowed gift, meant to be treated with care and  love. Hopefully we will be able to do it well..

Talking about the nature, couldn't help but to think of the Hulu Langat recent landslide.
Saw some of the pictures of the incident posted on few blogs.
Ya Allah..

... hanya mamu mendoakan mereka di sana

Sunday, May 8

air tangan

I watched this video again..
then I remembered my own childhood memory.
Hurm, prior knowledge is understood better in L1 so, lets start it with my L1.

Masa kecik-kecik dulu, kalau Maa buat cekodok pisang tuh, mesti kene buat yang saiz kecik-kecik gile. sangat kecik. Kalau tak kecik, kami tak nak makan. Makan kat luar, isi kene buang. Kami panggil cekodok tu, 'jemput tahi kambing' (mind the word, sorry)
Memang kecik macam bende itu pun.
Kesian Maa, mesti leceh habis nak goreng kecik-kecik macam tu. Dahlah tu, kene buat 2 versi lagi. Yang kecik untuk kami tiga beradik yang last ni, yang saiz normal untuk anak2 yang dah agak, kononnya dewasa la mase tuh.
kami tak suka yang besar-besar tu, tak best.
Kalau makan karipap pun, makan pap tu je, yang kari (inti kat dalam) tu kene buang.
Menyusahkan dan melecehkan kerja seorang ibu adalah hobi dikala zaman riang.

Errrm..sebenarnyer, ia masih lagi satu kegiatan harian dikala berusia melepasi 2 dekad ini.....
Di satu hari yang tenang; telefon Maa dihubungi dan soalan kegemaran itu terkeluarlah jugak;
"Ma, ma masak apa hari ni?" Dengan laju, Maa menjawab, "Masak ikan tiga rasa je". Dengan lebih laju lagi, anak menjawab, "Waaa...bestnya, malam tadi baru je mimpi makan ikan masak tu...sedapnyeee"
(dan Ma terasa bersalah, terus tukar topik)
Di hari lain yang separa tenang, soalan sama diulang; "Maa masak ape hari ni?"
Belajar dari pengalaman, Maa menjawab; "Masak lebih kurang je. Ikan singgang je" (kononnyer itu dah masakan paling plain abad inilah..) Malangnya, anaknya yang memanglah masalah mental sikit ini terus berkata; "Sedapnyer..... lama dah tak makan ikan..."
(dan Maa terasa bersalah lagi sekali)
Di hari yang lain, anak yang mungkin tak berape reti bahasa ini bertanye lagi, "Maa masak ape hari ni?" Maa yang dah terlalu belajar dari dulu-dulu, menjawab lambat-lambat, "Tak masak pun. Pergi kenduri je". Respond si anak yang memanglah saje je cari pasal; " Ooooo..kenduri. Bestnye, sape yang kawin? Lame dah tak pergi kenduri..Kat kenduri tu ada kerabu tak?Sayur nangka? Ke masak ayam merah je?" (dan Maa dah kering idea, melayan anak yang sangatlah banyak songehnyer..)
Kadang-kadang kan Maa, i know, you asked adik-adik to lie, "Kalau tanya pasal makan ape, jawab je makan benda-benda biase". Kadang-kadang, yang adik pun satu penyakit, boleh plak bagi jawapan yang super tak logik; "Hari ni Maa tak masak, tak makan apa pun". (gilerr tak boleh blah!!)

Maa, sebenarnya bukan sebab lauk tu sangat sedap ke atau ikan kat sini tak segar ke atau kat sini tak ada orang yang nak buat kenduri. Tapi sebab itu masakan, air tangan ibu. Ibu anak 7 lagi. Itu aje. Yang buat anak Maa terliur megalahkan orang mengandung  anak sulung.

Cakaplah makan telur goreng kosong ke cicah biskut dengan teh ke, semua tu tak boleh dilawan oleh mane-mane Burger King atau Queen atau President sekalipun. Nawros punya briyani pun tak setaraf briyani Maa. (arrr...terliur lagiiiii)
Apapun masakan, walau kat mane pun, lain rasenye bila perkataan 'ibu' tu ada. Kan Maa jugak yang cakap, kalau buat paung (err..tak tahu bahasa melayu standard dier ape) tuh, tak de ibu tak naik adunan tuh. Haa...see, how much I learnt from that?

My housemates selalu cakap, "Cakap pasal Malaysia ni boleh jadi gila. Asyik nak balik je..."
Memang pun. Nak-nak lagi bila time macam ni, dahlah otak buntu macam batu, kesihatan lagi tak menentu. Macam mana kami tak nak rindu....huwaaaaa


Ini semua salah Matlutfi, buat video pasal cekodok.
Now. i'm off task from that ridiculously difficult assignment, again.
Assignment tu lagi satu hal.
Mike, if only your assignment is to write '4000 words about your mum', I could write that 4000 and even more.. without any quotation lagi.
Kalaulah kan...

30 degree celcius, and why on earth I'm wearing my sweater?
1888 words, and why I'm still blogging and ignoring that microsoft-word stuff.
11.52 am and why do I feel sleepy.

Maa, selamat hari ibu.
I love you.

Saturday, May 7

Look who's raining!

'coz you are like my angel, an angel made in Heaven'

lagu ini untuk Maa....
so sorry that our conversation suddenly stopped.
Hey Mr 02, how could you stop a daughter from pampering her mother (either way.. :P )just like that? =_=!
I was just about to sing you this song...believe me my version would sound more ke-daughter-an and comelan (what a waste) ^_^
To Maa, not only today, but any other day, as long as the sun is still up in the sky (though at the moment you must be looking at the moon instead)
my love for you would never fade Maa.. in fact, the day when we nor longer could see the sun or the moon, I want to still be able to love you..coz i
loveeeeeee you so the very much!

misss you...

Thursday, May 5


its rare.
definitely rare.
What a rare day.
It started long before that,
But that word, in my only class of the day.
Rarely rare, the word that I got for the game is ‘rare’.
If my life is a piece of a literature work that students have to study for their exam,
they shall call this part a ‘foreshadow’.
a quick one,
they will bump into this word again after a few more pages of the literature work.
and that was where the art piece stuck.
that was where i stuck.
5th of May.
what a rare date, itself.

Sunday, May 1

Inspiring Tulips....

and this is where my friends and I spent the third week of our spring break..
from the views, people, foods, and everything... Istanbul has to be the best place I have visited so far..
Too many things to say about it...
Too much love and peace there..

The calm Blue Mosque,that you just can't get enough of it..
Magnificence Dolmabahce Palace; golden pillars, crystal chandelier and everything! A price that could even buy another country.
Historical Tokapi Palace , from the Prophet's and his companions swords to all the Sultans of Uthamaniyah kingdom .... a great wonder
Even buying an ice-cream could be very nostalgic here!

And funniest moment goes to a pak cik, merajuk when I was bargaining for a handmade craft. It was very upsetting for me at that moment, but now it is a real funny one to remember. Oh pak cik.
Yeah, they have this style, sometimes.. hehee..
Oh yeah, something absolutely bizarre and NEW to me, i look like a Bangladeshi! Ok, I have heard enough of me being regarded/recognized as someone from other Asian countries (even Japan? gilerrr) before but, this one, seriously, I'm surprise!!!

But for a real, deep real serious of seriousness, seriously, I'm seriously really want to visit this place again.

and penambahan;

focus: tulips..notice how they live?
whatever colours or shape they are of.
and that was exactly what I'm about to say...
its kinda super weird and awkward and annoying and memalukan when a very very very outside people talk, and question it.
Serai, dear serai...

Lihat tulipsss itu,
hidup serumpun kan indah?

Saturday, April 23

No reasonable reason.

Love does not need reasons,
but Hate does

You can't hate people randomly, right?


thats all for today...
Ohhh..what a sunshine!!

Tuesday, April 19


21 Celsius....
So like Kuala Terengganu....
So much and much heat to make me miss you...


Spring berlalulah segera,
bagi laluan buat Summer...
Sebab saya mahu pulang ke sana..

Monday, April 18

Phantom of the Spring Ball

Few days off from windy Plymouth... a journey that went on so smoothly that I didn't realised it has nearly came to its end. Alhamdulillah, all praise to HIM for everything we experienced through out this trip.
Beautiful spring, marvelous foods, amazing people, superb views, what more should I ask?
To my trip-mates thanks for being such a good company..you guys rockkkss (ok, I dont know why should we use rock..but you know i didnt mean the stone.. ^_^..teeheee)

SWOT: too many to mention...
one thing for sure, I am sooooo in love with the theater we watched in London
and the other one thing I am not so sure of, football craze;on what level should I rank myself?

daaa for now...... ^_^ ,
oh..opps..here is, a very short and compressed video, since i'm too lazy to upload all the pictures here, lets just have a video with all the pictures in it. ngeee

in rush.very bad one.

P/sss: i have no idea what have I done to it, so just pretend that green part as the grass or smtg..heee..sorrrry....

Tuesday, April 5

Absolute Satisfactory

"absolute satisfactory" is like, a factory which is absolutely full of satisfaction of being satisfied and do satisfy!

So I did enter that 'factory' last week, while performing one of my most unforgettable dikir barat ever (not that I've have done so many, teeheee )
Anyway, the satisfactory didn't come from the make up (coz i'm not wearing any, that day)
not from the tshirt I was wearing (ngee) and not even from the marvelously sunny day (yeah, it rained, as predicted by every forecast websites)...
Its from...those clapping hands and also those students whose suddenly standing in front of us (and blocking us from audience's views for few seconds before they sits like us) , clapping together and try to follow every steps we made. Wohaaa... thank you so much..
Thats was the real satisfactory..
Its like when you are telling a tragic story and others suddenly scream out loud because their eyes dried out and turned to be a freaking hot dessert or like when you make a joke and the person who hear it exploded his stomach and died laughing. 
 perhaps its like the antivirus creator smiling to see how relieved their customers are when more and more laptops healed from the mysterious viruses that nobody on earth ever knows whose the creators are.
actually... its more like..like,
I think it must be like how the teachers feel when their students understand what's written both in their textbook, and on the black board and most importantly, in their exam papers.
It is .... like that. ^_^
Like how those who do things whole heartedly, sincerely and honestly for the benefits of all.
Like you starts smiling and you dont know if you ever in your entire life know to how to not smiling.

It is far more happier and satisfierst when you make others happy, aite?
It is.
So dear internet connection, listen deadly careful to this message. Behave, make other's happy using you. You'll be a totally freaking extra whole lot happpi~~~~~~~~~-yerrr. and Stop making me waiting for an extra 4 minutes just to make sure a short two minutes video 'finished loading'. 

Sunday, March 27

Friday, Saturday, Sunday...winning!!!

Guess what RB?

Your prophesy turned out to be true. Sunday comes after Saturday!!!
 hehe, the point that everyone is fuming over this song is something really really errr...IDK what to say..
but the fact that it has more than 55 millions views within a month (and almost a million dislikes) now is something that no ordinary people could have achieved. ever.
People say things like, it has so many views because whoever watched it, they only did that for the sake of clicking that dislike sign. But, get real peeps, face it. As normal as any human being could ever be, we are that obsess of the word 'ever' , 'most' and so on.
Somebody labelled this song as the worst song ever, and spread that words (it was a trend in Twitter for like, what 2 weeks?). Dang....the song becomes a sensation, something that everyone must see, must comment or at least must err..know. Because it is the worst song ever. Try upload Itik oh Itik song on the internet and spread the words like , 'this is the most hillarious song' or 'the song that will tickle your kidney the most' or 'the most weird song ever' and make it a trend at twitter or something, danggg....it could beat Baby as the most viewed song (and also the most dislike video on Utube)

People would be like 'I have to watch this' when we put such label on something.
Same thing goes with this situation. When somebody so famous or a web or something that gained much attention posted something, without even read or watch it till the end, you could see that-famous-one-single-word-comment rushly typed (or pasted) on the comment section. yeah, those 'first!', or 'second' or 'third' or the worst one; 'last' (i mean, how do you know you are the last to read it?). Its not weird, its not abnormal, it is actually more than abnormally weird if you never in your entire life want to achieve such position, a position like, for example; being the first to comment on the most-read-article-ever. :P
Why? because everybody wants to achieve a record (not singing record) that nobody would ever beat in their lifetime. Something....errmmm..achievement! 
Err, did Maslow or Skinner or Piaget or anyone ever say something about this?-Dah...otak beku malas nak pikir.-
So, dont blame RB for singing the song that most people think is the worst song ever, dont blame those who make it a top video too... face it, we are human, not an Android (not referring to that gadget laa). And by the way, if we could really ignore those funny lyrics, it could be a catchy song, could be. *Catchy is something quite subjective to me..so,....

Anyway, the most discussed topic several hours ago was Earth Hour. Eih, the most-'screamed'-word also. 

Okay, time to reset my clock. 

And to my Dearling, I know you gonna be ok. (nyanyi 2 pm skit)
stay strong...sabar ye....nanti semua akan ok. :)