...and the foot steps that I leave behind

Friday, December 31

how do we end an ending?

Few hours to leave 2010. (Lets use Malaysia time for now, its quicker!) I'm glad its over. Arghhh..another mix-feeling. Happy, sad, frustrated, glad, relieve, regret, gloomy, free, all well blended in a blender jenama hati.

a quick recap on 2010, .. Its been a bit hard, I think. I might actually have to admit that it records the highest usage of tears ever, excluding the years when I'm still in diapers la... 
Yes, I cried a lot this year. For far too many reasons to be list out here.
My last tears was recorded on..erm few days ago when I watched 3 Idiots. Yes, you can call me idiot for crying while watching a Bollywood movie. Arghh..banyak sangat yang tacci dalam movie tu!!gerrrammmm..
I really hope there'll be no more flood for 2011, and the coming years...
Crying is indeed tiring. Always.
Anyway, enough of tears. I did smiles a lot too this year. And I dont have too many reasons for that. Just a few. A few that really mean so much more to me. More than any of everything.


you would always be a strong reason for me to keep smiling,
be it hard or easy. far or near. 




Dah dah..jom pergi tahun 2011 now!
farewell, 2010.
Actually, I am so excited with 2011 because, erm, yeah mainly because I don't like my calendar. x_x .
Alasan yang sangat merapu untuk mulakan tahun baru. But really this is my main intrinsic+extrinsic motivation factor right now. The one that I use now didn't match my room and it is not cute **biasalah..calendar free..nak cantek beli sendiri!
Its purple, makan banyak space that I have to crop it, and it is actually promoting awareness on meningtis which is good but I just can't stare that kind of pictures too much so..erhhhhm..ok last point, it starts with september and ends with jun, which is so not effective for me since I still have days to cross before flying back to my water-land. Tak pasal kena buat mini kalendar kat A4 paper t. So that's why, kadang-kadang I feel like nak pangkah kalendar tu 2-3 kali sehari. 
walaupun kena belek page baru tiap bulan,
its comel and + space to menulis, I love writing!
So from tomorrow, I can start using the other one! yahooorrayy!! I bought it 3 months ago, and was counting days to use it since then. ^_^. 
So, Welcome 2011.
Lets face it, 'stronger and better'! InsyaAllah...







Thursday, December 30

Jom pergi Mandi!!

Mandi. At first I found it is quite funny for a place to have such name, what more when it is indeed a very famous place. And we keep on reminding each other about going to mandi together end of this month. Nahhh..today, 29thDecember, I finally went to this place, and it is, seriouslyyyy beautiful. Rase macam nak mandi jerrr..
It is such a foggy day today, and of course freezing as usual, and the steaming hot water (temp. 35 degrees) just seems too erm..can I say mouth watering? hahh enough of water already. here's the picture. Erm..not so many, because it is not that easy to take the pictures here, with the great help from those wap air and cold and maybe because I am too comfortable and perhaps already fall in love with my glove that I just dont want to take it off and make photographing easier. Huh, there's few shops and places with unforgettably unique names here, a shop called Plain Lazy, another one name Itchy Feets (it sells shoe) and also ok, this place is Mandi. 
steaming.... Roman Bath.
names of all the places that I did not visit today.
stone coffin. yeah, seram. very.
             no skodeng-
video-projection; the Roman bath here dulu-dulu.


errm.. decoration for Xmas celebration., maybe.

oh, lighting tempat ini memang suruh ambik gambar air sahaje.
itik: "Alamak paparazi..run for your live!!"
This is Bath anyway,
so be patient with my passion for this natural beauty; water.
I don't know what it is..but it's emm..cantik.

dan my glove yang best. Hadiah dari cik Timie
Bathing time over! Time to go home and, what? Have a nice slice of happiness!
29thDecember is actually my best friend since high school's birthday. Her name is Aisyah, and I haven't called her to wish her because all the way I'm at Bath today my handphone remains with that status; ' no coverage'. Line masuk air kottt. Will have to do so tomorrow. So sorry Aisyah. Aku tak lupa kamuuu..tentu.
And of course, I haven't forget you too lah darling! Although I have tried my very best to delay the wishes as long as I could, (kalah dalam train), it would never mean, i'm mean. haha. Today is also 21st birthday of my former roomate, floormate, hostelmate, and currently my classmate,coursemate, housemate, floormate, deskmate, huh, what wasn't in the list yet? Alright, bestfriend! Happy Birthday kamuuu. Ya, kamu Cik Sherry. I'm too pemalu to write the whole paragraph of my wishes here. You know me dear. Thank you for haven't grew 100% tired with me (its not even 0.1% right? :P ). I need that for at least another million years. I need you for at least triple of that duration. Ok, sorry. Melalut, its not friendship day ekh today. Then, daaa..until the next post.

 aiih..i didn't notice this,
we placed the candles wrongly, its 12 la...  ^_^




*home is so homy
I love home. 
I love what's inside my home. 
Of course, with whom inside it.

Monday, December 27

Saya kan Anak Malaysia...

I hate the fact that i'm losing reliable sources to 'keep in touch' with Malaysia lately.
That weird and so $%^(*#@ website; tonton.com memang serabut habis. Nama aje tonton, but I can't watch anything via that web. urrrrrrrg. :@
Anyway, "facebook kan ada?"
I was like HUHHH??? ( 2 biji bola mata hampir tersembul keluar dari soket tetapi berjaya diselamatkan oleh kerdipan-kerdipan mata yang kerap). Yeah, that was a true reaction, true first reaction when my house mate ran from upstairs to tell us that superb news.
"Malaysia menang 3-0 lawan Indonesia!".. arrr..rasa gema-gema lagi kat lubang telinga.
Congratulation Malaysia, I love you lah... and, urghhh..let's just shut our ears to those words, what ever it is, the number 3 and 0 is a fact and not an imagination, everyone should learn to accept that. Full-stop.

If it was held in Plymouth, I surely would be one of the supporters, siap bawak sepanduk, bunga maggar, bunga betik, bunga raya, bunga bunga and huge flag some more!
Patriotism can't be shown only by supporting your country in a game or etc, but yeah, it is one of the ways to show your appreciation and feel honoured to be her citizen.
Hurm..tiba-tba rasa macam...nak pergi lagi sekali lah sokong All England next year. Mana tahu ditambah budu belacan kami, Malaysia menang lagi. :)
Merapu merapu....

I never wrote anything in this blog about the Birmingham-All England trip we had this year, it was .. somewhere at the end of winter season, hurm.., March maybe. Since a picture worth thousand words, let see how much this video could have worth. Erm, do forgive this amateur and baru bertatih girl for not being able to do a good recording. Its tunggang terbalik and very shaky. She is so clueless and very very not terlatih to do it, yet too stubborn to stop doing it. Huh. Sila-sila kutuk dia.




*3in1, siap ley promote 1Malaysia lagi,
 ehurm..G.o.V, ape lagi top up la allowance kami; elaun patriotism. :P

Saturday, December 25

bila makan bukan untuk hidup...

"hidup untuk makan ke makan untuk hidup?", frequent enough, maa would ask that every time one of us complained about the menu of the day, food, and anything related...
nahh..and today,
just like any other normal days of my life, (except that I woke up at 6 am today, not on-the-way to my bed like the previous days) my housemate tuned her volume up to 100% and screamed,
"MAKANNNNNNN!!!!"
"KAMI DATANG!!!!" three angelic voices replied and in split seconds, three roaring stomaches arrived at our communal room and ready to start filling itself,
"JANGAANN!!!" another loud voice. Huh? What 'jangan'?
"Ok, here's the story...blueblablueblawhitebluorangeyellogreennblablaredblablaredblack"
And the four of us continued with our lunch. Once a while, the topic of the day; the spicy terung sambal came up again and again. "Which konti mak cik we bought this from?" "Which spoon did you use?" "Waaa..it must be a product of India, their chilies are the hottesstttt" "Kasihan terung...sayangggg" "Aku suka tau terung ni..sib baik ada sebelah lagi" and the topic didn't end even after the last rice on the plate also landed in my stomach. Weird enough, with almost-flooded-eyes, red noses and ears, and sometimes, the 'ssssss' sounds keep on coming from every one of us, we still, rancakly eating and stuffing and eating and stuffing and eating the terung and its sambal.
"Haa..tulah takut jugak, nanti tercirit beramai-ramai sebab terung punya sambal"
Takut, but still want more and more.
Spicy aubergine, auuuuuww yummy!!

Oh, after I had my lunch and a quick visit to see the culprit of the day, 'super hot chili powder' at the kitchen, I quickly grabbed a treatment for this 'sssss' feeling.
Kit-kat chocolate!!! *have a break*
1 pound;9 bars at Poundland. Murah murah,mari beli!!!
haisyyy..there's one problem whenever i want to eat this. I dont know whether this is just an example of a failed marketing manager promotion or a sign of health and food department's success. 
would you think twice before eating this or it just makes you want to have more?
kalau boleh nak guna font Verdana 170 tu!!
Look.. its like the kitkat is saying "hey eat me, and guess what, i just contributed 107 calories to your body. Sikit je tuuu!!". Macam mana nak makan. Belom ape-ape dah cakap pasal kalori, aduh. Itu baru 1 bar, lau habis 9 bar tu xke ribus-ribus kalori. Bosan tol, nak makan pun susah hati. Hurm, nasib baik aku tak pandai matematik., so, setelah penat mendarab tapi tak dapat-dapat,
ehurm..5 minit kemudian, pembalut yang bertulis nombor 107 itu ghaib dari pandangan (dan juga isinya)
Thinking of how long I took, (5 minutes, lama kotttt) to end up eating the chocolate bars, I can't stop myself from thinking of them. Them, yang sungguh berani. How ekh? They could ignore it and just continue?
I'll be like...urrrrrggggg...if I were them. Oh, sungguh tabik spring double tilam Vono pada mereka-mereka ini. Berani wal kuat semangat sungguh mereka.
I envy you laaaa!!!
seriously, you are not disturbed at all by that picture? -gambar ehsan google.

*gambar versi Siam lah plak..sorry silap grabbed. yang penting mesej tu jer..

Thursday, December 23

sympathy..

do you have a bit of sympathy in you?
there's million ways to show that, but i'll give one here.
please people, can you at least do this little thing?
>>have a readable handwriting (lau nak tulis diari or nota sdn bhd tu lantakla..)

kesian tahu kat posmen2 yang dengan susah dan payahnya terkebil-kebil membaca alamat anda di tengah hari yang suam suam air La Hot Spring.
lagi kasihan orang-orang yang kena kerja sortkan surat-surat tersebut sebelum posmen ambil alih tugas hantar plak.
tahu tak berape banyak surat diorang kena sort hari-hari? Nak-nak dekat-dekat raya. Oh ya, nak-nak dekat-dekat raya and plus musim borang-borang.
penat yang amat. don't blame anyone if it went to the wrong address.
p/s:do paste a stamp when posting a letter. its not your grandma's post office!
imagine reading thousands of weird handwriting everyday
kesian jugak kat cikgu-cikgu yang naik rabun nak semak homework and exam papers, hey silap hari bulan mahu juling nak baca satu-satu. bukan nak suh menang award tulisan cantek, sekadar, boleh di baca pon cukup dah.

translation, anyone?-by googleimage.
kesian jugak kat tukang jahit anda, so masa first time nak tempah baju tu, kalau yang suka nak bagi ukuran siap-siap, silalah menulis dengan kadar yang mampu lagi dibaca oleh tukang jahit yang biasanya bercermin mata power 100+. kesian tahu, susah-susah nak makesure baju orang tak terbarut nangka or jadi alas meja.

okey, baju sepanjang 3 inci, siap!!



>>tak pasti, kenapa ada simpulan bahasa 'tulisan doktor'.

Wednesday, December 22

was thinking..and still do.

lau ini FB, dia akan tanya 'what's on your mind now?
and "i'm going to write i love winter, yeah, i'm falling in love with winter.
why?
becauseeeeeee....
it allows me to have the best excuse without being accused of using lame excuses, being careless,clumsy and blablablaaa..
"I fell"
and no one will said, "See, you are not careful..." "If only you used the other way..." "You shouldn't chose that shoes.." "Did you look around when you walk?" "Why did you go there alone?"...and blablablaaaa..
Instead, it can end so quickly without having me pulling a longer and longer and longer face..
the words will be just like " Oh, I know, it must be very slippery.." or "Don't worry dear, its normal in this season" or " Poor you..Are you alright dear??"
Yeah, of course i am not alright..anyway..
the point of writing this is,
hurmm...
alamak .LUPE!
lets skip that part. I actually forgot that it is supposed to be a secret until end of this week. huuu...
******
Yesterday, I had a wonderful one hour chat with my bestie zaman2 sekolah, Cik Husna, she had just turned 21 (dah boleh mengundi). Lots of gebangz2 with her and also Syaton, another bestie..:). arrghhhh..i hate it when I could hear you guys teasing each other there, and still hang out together until now. I hate the fact that I can't be there with you. I think this is the, erm..4th time already, wishing your birthday through phone-calls only... and it will be 5 times next year. Aisyyyyy... I miss you, all of you...
T_T

She raised few hot topics, (of course she would!). Hurm among them, me and couple and mat saleh.
Let's get this one straight, i wont, insyaAllah, have any erm...rapat-dekat-lekat relationship with any of the mat saleh here. It is so impossible. Seriously. Honestly. I'm typing this with my eyes rolling big and almost fall out! I love my eyes, so don't make me repeat this. *_*
I can't predict the future, but I do have my future planning, and it is so not in the list. No worries, Mum. :)
Skip topic again.
Next in line, touring and traveling and part-timing.
Tour and travel, i'd love to explore every inch of Europe if possible but, huge BUT, ehherm...money matterssss..I think, suddenly I need ubat batuk cap ibu dan anak...:P
I'm planning to, but slowly, snailly, turtlely, and lalilaaaa..
Part-timing, obviously, which is why I can't get a normal life style now.
haha
****
Question,
why on earth or moon or sun,
people, errmmm some people, use the word 'b...' when they are really annoyed, angry or blablablaa?
Ye, perkataan b yg 4 huruf tu..
Kenapa bukan itik ke biawak ke dinasour ke badak sumbu ke atau cicak je?
And one more is the word 'tahi' in English when you are surprisingly upset or frustrated with something.
Why must 'tahi'? Why not saliva, hair, eyes or nails?
I was wondering because, I accidently used it at the public today (yeah, when I tripped on that super-slippery road), *wahahaha..pengakuan berani mati kene baling selipar jepun, and I was really mad at myself and started to ask the exactly same question my mum and any other mums would ask when they heard inappropriate things from their children " Dari mane belajar cakap macam tuh?"
Yeah..dari mana ye?

** need to know this to help the future generation!!

Tuesday, December 21

there's always at least a small bit of happiness in every sorrow..

When everyone keeps on grumbling and complaining over the difficulties and troubles they had due the heavy snow, airports closed, road and etc, I was surprised to see one guy, hurm uncle actually, smiling.
He had all the problems as well, enduring the same like others do.
yet he smiled when he heard those negative 'reviews', and calmly said;
"My daughter is a stewardess, she told me last week, she can't make it for Christmas cause she have to fly to Australia. And now, the airport is closed, the flight cancelled, and she can come back and celebrate it with me." And his smile just wont fade off.
There's a bless in everything.
Some people get to see it right away, some people will find it a bit later.
Some people had it as a major turn in their life, some people might get just a tiny bit of it.
It is freezing now, but at least in time like this, we get to see who will come and give you blanket, who will stay to make sure you wont tripped on the slippery road and who run quickly to get the best shelter for themselves.
Trust Allah swt, He knows better what is good and bad for us.
He knows best of how to show it to us.

Monday, December 20

part-time to over-time...

Winter Break. ...
Argh..over slept today.
Finally after four days its snowing here, I could sleep 'really tight'.
Memang tak sedar diri terus tidor.
Don't question it. That is one of my part-time jobs too.
Oh yeah, I have many part-time jobs now. Particularly during this winter break.
Sleeping and eating are in the list, of course.
And I shall get luxurious wages for these,
lots and lots of fat layers to say 'wachhaaaa!! karatedotaekwan' to the cold winter.
So in a very hening day like this, when nobody wakes up early cheering up and  building more snow man outside,
i just can't help myself to do some over-time...of course, more extra wages later!
Had a wonderful meals just now, a farewell session with my seniors as they are going to leave this village end of this week.
Praying for safe journey from here to London and of course back to heaven on earth, Malaysia. There are news about Heathrow airport problems at the moment, due to heavy snow blizzard. Most of the international airports elsewhere are closed since yesterday. Oh, hopefully it will end soon.
Another talk about snow, last night, I think is one of the beutifullest night I have seen; full moon and light snow...subhanallah.. but it didn't last long. Shortly after, there's loud thunder, lightning, snow blizzard, extremely strong wind all together...
Oh my, I'm talking about the weather too now. No wonder every one here love to have 'weather talk', it is an irresistible topic!
 ok then., lets end this, too.

untuk gadiz bernama Izyan..

Izyan,
Tenkiu for this one.
:)
back then zaman sekolah, kita pernah jadi desk-mate ingat lagi tak?
mesti ingat kan?
You even pernah tolong si budak kecik yang x reti2 ni ikat tali kasut betol-betol.
Hurm, memang tak reti-reti.
Isyk isyk isyk..
Terima kasih kerana bersabar menjadi kawanku selama..ermmm..berapa tahun yer?
8 tahun dah kan?
lama giler!!!
semoga tali persahabatan ni tak kan putus sampai bila-bila bila bila pun!

Saturday, December 18

Saya who? (fiksyen, one eye-eye)

Pakar motivasi itu berkata,
"orang yang menggunakan nama sendiri sebagai ganti nama bila bercakap sebenarnya tiada keyakinan diri yang tinggi".
oh really? using your name to refer back to yourself in conversation shows that you may be lacking self confidence?
so, starting the sentences by saying;
" Amy think(s?) that you should not do that"
" Ayu rasa awak tak patotlah buat macam tu.."
(okay fine, the first example sounds really awkward and wrong. forget it. its just a fiction one eye-eye!)
=Tiada keyakinan diri? OH itu tidak adil. It should be solely up to that person, and her/his own preference. Dan juga yang mane mereka selesa. Siapa tahu, mereka lebih yakin, bila bercakap macam tu?


Dan pakar motivasi itu menambah lagi;
Well, you are saying something that you (not others) actually feel or think, but you said it out as if the words are from somebody else.
In both sentences, it was Amy and Ayu that feel/think so, what about you then?YOU. yeah,. what do you think?


Kedebusyh!! and I might have to agree then.
When you said it out that way, it might sounds a bit more, ermmmmmm...polite but, yeah, pakar motivasi itu yang berkata demikian.

Katanya lagi, ayat yang menggunakan 'saya' atau 'aku' adalah lebih yakin dan gagah perkasa 
Like this: "saya/aku rase awak/kau tak patotlah buat macam tuh" (effect yg lebih tinggi?ehhurmm..). Ok untuk memudahkan kenampakan situasi dengan lebih jelas,
Imagine these 2 situation. Which Ayu sounds more convincing as a good friend?
(it has to be in Malay, grammar rules in English tidak memungkinkan situasi ini)


(1)
Abu: Abu tak tahulah betol ke tak pilihan Abu ni.
Ayu: Ayu rasa since Abu dah pilih ikut hati Abu sendiri, Insyaallah ok je tuh.
Abu: Abu pun harap macam tulah. Tq Ayu sebab sokong pilihan Abu.
Ayu: Mestilah, Ayu cuma tolong as a fren. Abu kan kawan Ayu. (??? Abu mana satulah yang jadi kawan si Ayu yang mana sorang lah ni)


(2)
Abu: Aku tak tahulah betol ke tak pilihan aku ni.
Ayu: Aku rase since kau dah pilih ikut hati kau sendiri, insyaAllah ok je tuh .
Abu: Aku pun harap macam tulah. Tq yer, sebab ko sokong pilihan aku.
Ayu: Mestilah, aku cume tolong as a fren. Kau kan kawan aku. (oh yes, aku kawan kau, kau kawan aku. well explained!)




Oh pendek kata (bukan aku, i'm 160 cm ok!uhukk..oklah tuu..), janganlah guna nama anda bila bercakap sebab pakar motivasi kata (bukan saya, degree pun x lepas lagi lerr!) ianya adalah simptom2 tidak yakin pada diri.





**DISCLAIMER:  SILA JANGAN SESIAPA TERASA HATI, PEDAL ATAU USUS. ini hanyalah sesaje je, tibe2 teringat kata-kata pakar motivasi itu, di suatu minggu orientasi yang lalu. Oh, Ayu, Abu dan Kamal dalah watak fiksyen semata-mata, + sebab ia agak close dengan word aku dan kamu.

Friday, December 17

mid Disember..

Half way through...
Oh Disember!
I still remember back then at home, this is the month that we would be shaking, cold day!
Its raining day and night and evening and noon and any other time.
And sometimes, flooded!
Oh Disember!
Its snowing again today, and still snowing now.
Earth is well covered, white and only white..and several footsteps that we left on our way back home just now.

Yeah..and who said there's nothing in common between KT and UK?
There areeee..a lotss!

Yerp, bulan 12 adalah bulan untuk 'berjaga-jaga dan bersedia untuk kemungkinan banjir'..
and Yes, it is also the same month that we are so alert with the forecast..and forecast and the warnings.

Anak2 kecil (dan juga muda remaja) berseronok untuk bermain airrrrr, bermain banjir, mengutip hasil2 hanyut seperti papan congkak yang masih kami guna di rumah sekarang dan berhoorraayy!!
And us, still considered as teenagers, young teenagers are all well prepared to have snow-war and snowman, snowoman,snowgirl and etc..

Ibu bapa yang amat dan sangat dan sungguh risau keselamatan keluarga dan bersedia mengerah keringat mengalihkan barang2 berharga, parking kereta kat tempat tinggi..
The matured adults, also aren't happy with the snow, it causes lots of trouble...traffic, moving around, places and roads close, and blablabla

Korban banjir. Setiap hari, ada hintungan baru, satu amaran datang setiap kali.
Snow victim? Last time I read the news, 8 people died this winter due to the snow..well that was 2 weeks ago, latest update unknown.

Ketika banjir, pusat-pusat pemindahan dimana-mana. Kawasan rendah, kawasan tinggi...rumah kami bertiang tinggi, jadi xpernah pindah walaupun pernah banjir ke paras perut. Makanan asasi; Sardin Ajaib, yang sangat ajaib kerana mampu mengeluarkan ikan dari tin yang bergambar ayam.
When its snowing, the best dish would go to emmmmm....... maggi! any brand will do, but the one that comes out from the parcel shipped across the sea would be the best choice. Porridge and soup...that's a must. Oh, and snow will be everywhere, as it never cares how high it is,and they actually love the mountain the best. 

Cuti-cuti Malaysia. Berita buruk untuk calon SPM, dan pengetua sekolah yang berulang kali mengengingatkan kami untuk laminate slip nak masuk dewan.. Cuti-cuti buruh. Jambatan runtuh, jalan tutup dan rumah hanyut... ayuh tidak masuk kerja.
I always wish its snowing on the day that I have to submit my assignment. feels like, 'heaven' when all schools and colleges and offices closed because of the snow. Everyone should be equally given opportunity to have one day off to have snow fight.

Selepas banjir. Ok, bahagian yang paling tidak seronok...selut, lecah, kotor dan macam2. Oh ya, dan baju-baju yang sangat banyak belum di basuh, dan yang sudah di basuh tak kering-kering.
Same here, its damn and damn ugly! The 'brown salt' use to make the snow melt quicker is ugly and making everything look like a big mess...i hate it. and its not a good thing when it is half melted, its too slippery and I couldn't walk more than 10 steps without having almost-trip-moment at least once. Okay, i'm clumsy then. But it is hard to walk and move with the so many layers of clothes some more!

Oh and did I mention flu? I would catch cold easily at both places...

and the point is,
i miss you lah Malaysia!!!


>> its predicted that snow will get heavier later this evening, 
and I am uncertain whether its a good news or not.


Thursday, December 16

the greatest bye..

i have always thought that the word 'goodbye' is such an exaggerated oxymoron..how on earth departing could be a good thing?
but i'll give exception for this. the third one boarded the plane this morning, and its not good, its great. greatbye assignments!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY..(at least for 2010, its ended) 
and holla again, i misssssss you blogggggggs!


the 17 hari mencari 'saya'!

It's revenge reward time!
> family and friends that i have without sengaja neglected.. i'm so deeply sorry..will try to catch up what i'm missing this time!
> internet: Oh yes to all..erm..except for facebook..i'm so reluctant to reactivate it..arrghhh world is indeed 'Utopia 'without it.honest!
> outing and shoooooping: throwing money time!!
> moviesss: hurm.....TV3 unavailable here, no good movies now and tooo tired to watch any, anyway..
>novels: i'm so allergic to papersss now.
> room make-over: oh yes, currently, this room need a huge sign board with this sentence; "this IS a room, and somebody do live here" at the door now. its so like a gudang baju kena rompak or kilang kertas di hempap gempa bumi! 
> rest: could i? alright lets just live with this owl style, sleep at 6.30am and wake up, hurmm..12.30pm? hrr..
> winter! hurrrh..finally..

Wednesday, December 1

senyum..

kalau saya senyum awak mesti senyum sekali,
dua kali,
tiga kali,
banyak kali,...
berkali-kali...

senyum..................

~lalala..lalala..lalalala~

Monday, November 29

distant..that's all i need.

just as how deep my feeling was when i had to leave them miles away,
i knew the saying is not a fiction at all.
distant is all you need when the tie seems too lose.
for affection to bloom again, it needed space and time.
and that is what i choose to do at the moment.
hopefully, by having this distant the bridge that we shall build together will be much,
 much much stronger than anything else.
Not any of those jambatan merah style, the one that easily collapse and traditionally passed down only as children songs during their playtime.
Ours shall stand stronger and stronger, always and always.
I will, we will. I knew by heart.
I miss you, and you, and you. 
The distant between us, didn't fade this off even an inch.
I miss the time when Sir  Shariff called us 'The Bad Monday Gurls',
I miss the moment where I always find your eyes among the crowd, when my legs shaking out of nervous.
I miss the moment when we were all scared to receive Cikgu Zalli's cane, and how we laugh during recess while showing each other's palm.
I miss the day we rushed to school and pretended red is green, and pretend not to see the guard and prefect standing at the gate.
I miss the day we watched Rosalinda together, in a very wrong room.
I miss the moment that we shared in a mi sup stall after school.
I even miss the duster or books or marker that they threw at us when we were having serious discussion about national or international film and music industries,
Most importantly, what i miss most is we.
Distant did that, together with time.
Without knowing, i just do, missing this.

Saturday, November 27

-untitled-

if I were to give a title to this entry, i couldn't think of any other words or phrases that would suit it better than that line, the last line in Romeo and Juliet. for it should perfectly summarise everything...
there, obviously the story made on TV or movies were originally taken from real life story...just like mine now, funny-ly it suits Shakepeare's idea.
my winter begins with fireworks when John announced the changes made to our assignments...as if he could see our brains are starting to freeze already.. lalalala
:)
i do not know if we could win the other case that we are still fighting over now..was it such a big deal to ask for that? hello..yeah, it is freezing outside, but if we can just leave the chickens and vege in front of our house and let them freeze well there, then why on earth people create a thing called freezer?
and lastly, weather forecast,...do me a favor, if you could please stop pop-up at my wall and telling me rumors.
urghhh...it is so not funny~

Friday, November 26

negative..the declaration of peace.

when its negative..
hails are all over, knocking my window hard,
the lower it goes below the zero line,
the colder it feels,
the harder hails knock my window,
(strangely) my duvet gets heavier,
my bed feels softer,
and my alarm start singing even better than CT..
and we sing together,
and the sound from Sue's vacuum are nothing but soothing,
and the sound comes together,
and my house mates sing along, velvet-ly saying my name,
and we continue singing together..
and together,
and together,
and later the almost-white Earth complains,
why abuse me?
i do no wrong..
but run baby run...class almost begins..

The Declaration of Peace.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All peace and no sweat makes life too bored.
17 for 9.
Yeah, that's how war begins today.
Oh wait, I can't write this until tomorrow.
Half-win though.
Half way to win the battle.
Praying hard it goes well till the end.
So I can continue the other half part of the story.
*the sweat froze!
to be continue...
*****************************
and the other half of the story was..
Allah swt knows better, we can only plan..
Maa, I love you so much..
you and you and you..I love you all so very much too..
things happen..
oh, suddenly, can't help but to recall each line in Rudyard Kipling's 'If'..
if its snowing today..then maybe things get colder..oh.. i meant to say cooler..

Tuesday, November 23

you are among the petals in my heart..

date: 23rdNovember2010

ok, this shall be a very long speech.
Hai, my Adek. I know you hate it that i keep calling you Adek. You prohibited us from doing so since 5 years ago. But when you said that, you know, you triggered the reasons for me to keep calling you Adek, oh yes Adek. haha.. bad bad bad sister. I know I have always been very mean to you. I poked your eye with my 2B pencil when you were 5 years old, I joined the others calling you 'anak angkat dari Bosnia' and sometimes, i bullied you, to do this and that. I'm sure u remembered that well. But, no matter how cruel i was, how mean i acted, wherever I am, whenever it is, you have booked your name in the first page of my list. The page that i never skipped in my prayers.  Today is your big day, since the day you rejected the word "adek". SPM, ok how fast time flies, my Adek are a real grown-up boy now. Thank you for taking so much responsibilities already, I'm so proud of you. I wish the very very very best of the best for you. But hey, school or college or office or whatever it is, you'll always be my Adek. Hate it or not, I didn't plan to change that. Sorry. :)

Second, another big hai, my sister. She is 22 years old today.
video

I hate to say this, but really, I love you. Too bad I only realised that when we started to distance. And i lost the word whenever we met. Stubborn part of me can't utter the word 'love' right when I face you.  I hope you don't mind, I wrote you a letter to say that instead. Too classic? Blame my course module! Anyhow, yeah again, I love you. Happy Birthday.

>>i know it looks very childish.. seriously, this will be the 'once in my trillion years' doing such thing ok. 
And yeah, meet my Pooh, peneman tido kat sini..
otoke, you are just too far to grab in case i get nightmares..

Sunday, November 21

puppy and monyet...

i asked several people at formspring what is the connection, relation, history and bla bla bla between these two; puppy and monyet.
i wondered why was it puppy love is called cinta monyet in Malay? okay, why would cinta monyet translated as puppy love in English?  ?


thinking of someone?

b- word.

i hate it when i feel bengang...coz it will turn me to a very banggang version of human being.
seriously!!!!!!
it has all the baddd badd bad thingsss all in one whole package..

1. Bengang can make u stupid: u sleep the whole day becoz u r too bengang to do other things...u can't even think 1+1-3= to what and you can't even spell your name right, cant access ur own laptop becoz u r too bengang to rmber ur password.

2. Bengang makes u hodoh! :u will feel terribly hungry, hunger, hungary! all the time just want to munch somethingssssss or lotsa sleeps that u end up feeling more and more hungry when u wake up...and also extremely lazy to do other stuff including mandi, shampooing and combing your hair, yeah, turning yourself to a complete miserable looking person.

3. Bengang also means go muflis!: don't open ebay or amazon or any other online shopping webs or anything buy-able, book-able, subscribe-able when u are bengang...it takes you 30 seconds to buy three things that will lead to buying another 3, and to another 2 and later another 4, and then, you stopped coz ebay said that paypal said your lloyd said you have gone 'too far' beyond your limit. 

4. Bengang turns you to a murderer!: yeah the tendency to kill innocent fragile little things like mugs, pens, key-chains, electric stuff like your lamp or your heather or your iron or your dress or you toothbrush and many many things is to high to conquer. 

5. Bengang can cause hazardous to your health: eating mixture of wrong foods and drinks, sleep-wake-sleep-wrong-time, 24 hours eyes on laptop screen and lotsaaa other things.., it is more than lucky to just have diarrhea and headache..and migrain, and backpain and... (and lung cancer, mouth cancer, trachea cancer, cancer-cancer if you choose 'smoooky type of solution')


6. Bengang brings 'ohh!!!hurm...' : there were several videos i watched on youtube and fb, probably done out of bengang feelings, but whoever made it wont have easy  and peaceful day when shopping at malls or queuing to buy tickets at cinema, or eat at any random food-court.. without un-paid paparazzi watching.

Bengang!
Don't be, unless you are ready  to look ridiculously/be a stupid, ugly, broke, mad, sick and unhealthy person.

Tuesday, November 16

Raya datang lagi!!!

Oh!! Untuk kali kedua, Hari Raya Aidiladha di perantauan...
tahun lepas, rabak, tahun ni..sebak-sebak manje jer...oh namun sesungguhnya itu tidak bermakna kesanggupan untuk beraya di sini telah muncul. a huge NO for that. i want to go home for next raye! fixed. :)
the after raye prayer=breakfast. :)
Just like last year, after Eidul Adha prayer, together early this morning, we had a small gathering among us, raya-ing and eating and stuffing our stomach with lots and lotsa colourful dishes..muahhaaaha.. i really mean that word, colourful!






a big TQ to our guests, including you, Cik Biskut Bijan for visiting and raya-ing with us today...had so much fun..plus, after all what is raya celebration if you sit at a corner somewhere, all by your self??
thanks for making me smile, and for pushing that gedik2 sedih mode far aside...


Malaysia celebrates this Eid a day later, but as the mood is flying in the air already, its not a bad idea to celebrate it with my family now. Short, but not as simple. Beraya di skype. Oh, as always, virtual-celebration. I almost cry when Afiq placed his hand on the screen and kissed the webcam, a bit-not-so traditional way of salam-raya for a three year old boy. Boy, how could you be so sweet already? 
....to all my beloved, back in Malaysia or here, I love you, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha..i know you have done a lot for me, and for now, i could only thank you for all your sacrifices, and thanked Him for giving me, YOU. :)
me and miss bijan.yerr..kami memang pemaluuu..

Sunday, November 14

WTF?

Sorry.. wtf might sound like cursing in a way, but, in this particular entry, the title given stands for 'what the fish'..(for this entry only)
yeah.....i was like erm.., "wtf" all the time today..


ikan ape tuh???
                      ikan ape nih???
ni ikan ape???
     tu ikan ape?
                          ape ikan ni?

okay,...merapuu....---


In order to show our support and understanding on pak cek Rogers humanistic theory, we went out to have erm...well, a humanistic visit to check on the fish.
We were dead worried, thinking about them.
Are they hungry?
Lonely?
Sad? Depressed?
Or even worst,        drown???!!
Answers: NO. No, they aren't. Seriously, they are still breathing, well 'grown' and happily dancing 360 degrees.
smiling octopus


dancing jelly-fish ..
posing octopus



Next, again, to prove that we are practicing Maslow theory on erm...self-actualization, motivation and stuff...we also captured them photogenically posed via our cameras.. (as a reward for behaving well in that aquarium..ie: not biting our hands.)




hi..bley bkenalan..


si rupawan misteri yg pemalu..xtau name ape..


fish with most nicknames!








best pose, very 'sporting' one
finding nemo..oh..found one!
oh..tibe2..teringat..spongeBob and krabby patty!
playing hide-and-seek ..kot..
ikan2 layan blues...

ok fine, i'm fake!



-can't take much pictures..no flash can be used as it might harm the fish..(?) erm..ok2..humanistic visit...
-the 4D part was great!! i'm ok with percik2 manja stuff! :)
-a day with good memories.. asta!! (korean word) and also an unbelievable shocking incident to end my day.
for that particular incident, another WTF! (just the real meaning of wtf this tyme)
oh,ok.i wont forget 'today'.
definitely, 100% sure.

Tuesday, November 9

My name is....errrr

>>of me and mak cik kaunter library..and our very long 'discussion' about my name.

"Sorry, this book is not for you."
"What? Erm.., can you check it again? I booked that book just now, my name should be on that paper"
"Yes, I have checked it. Its not your name. Its for someone else"
"Sorry, but I'm really sure its my name. Its 'S',-
"No. So sorry...this book is not for you...
Urghhhhhh.....
"Okay, look, it is for me. The name written there is the last part of my name. Its not 'binti' but it is part of my name too. Please..., you can check it from your computer"
"Owh...I see. They should have write it down here. I was confused. They should write this (pointing her finger to the word binti)"

>> of me and akak kaunter daftar...and my middle name.

"Do you have any middle name?"
"No, I dont have any."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, of course."
"But, I think you do have a middle name. This one, this is your middle name right?"
"Huh?"
" 'B-i-n-t-i' "
"Oh..no. No, that's not my middle name. It's 'binti', it means the same as ..hurm...'the daughter of'."
"Oh, ok. Sure."

>> of me and a friend and my parcel...

" One slip for you. You got a parcel!"
"Huh? No..that's not mine."
"Eih? I thought that's your name"
"No la... My name kan sepatah je..Dont have--"
"But, that's your father's name right? I mean, the last part?"
"Huh?...Ohhhh...I see..Ok. Thanks"

>> of me and my funniest lecturer and ....Oh, he can speaks Malay!

"I cant remember your name. What was it again? Come on give me a clue."
"Hurm..It starts with an 'A' "
"Oh, now I remember your name"
"Good."(smiling)
"Ada, tak ada. Eh, ada, tak ada..Ada, ke tak ada?"
---(re-pull my smile...grrrr)

>> of me and pak cik operator taxi and booking a cab...

"And what's your name again? Is it Abba?"
"Huh?? Oh..yes yes. That's my name." (gave up)

>> of me and pak cik Asda and confirming orders..

"Can you spell your name again?
"Its 's' for sugar, 'h' for harry, blablablabla... . 'a' for alpha' and 'd' for delta blablabla "
"Okay I'm going to repeat this, its 's' for sugar......blablabala.."
"Yes. Correct."
"Okay, now can you give your email address please? Just to check you order list"
"Okay. its s------------@hotmail.com"
"Erm..can you spell it for me?"
"Huh?!!"

Don't ask what my name is . I am allergic to this question too.

sebelum penat.


nangis kan penat,
jadi, jangan mula.
orang yang kita sayang, mereka cuma nak tengok kita senyum.
orang yang kita sayang, kita cuma nak tengok mereka senyum.
orang yang kita sayang, luruh hati mereka tengok kita nangis.
orang yang kita sayang, luruh hati kita tengok mereka nangis.
jangan biar hati siapapun luruh.
biar daun-daun itu luruh,
memang ini  musimnya.
biar sampai bintang-bintang ikut luruh,
malam dah terlalu gelap.
biar apa pun luruh,
iman jangan,
kasih jangan,
semangat juga jangan.
nangis kan penat,
jadi, jangan mula.


hanya mahu senyum..,sebelum penat.