...and the foot steps that I leave behind

Friday, October 29


forgivable is not a forgivable word when used by an unforgivable person...

yet, why bothers?
can we just pretend that everything of everyone is forgivable?
that we are 'a person with such a big heart',
big enough to fit every single apologize made.
for-give, to-take.

Monday, October 25


crush is....
just a movie i watched with my house mates just now.
'funny' in a very funny way.
ngantok. few nights ago, i dreamt that i became uglyly bald. my face is damn freaky..
i woke up, gasping for the insufficient O2.
bad dreams.
ngantok. few days ago, i dreamt to be a payung. to protectively shield people who i care about..
the most expensive payung, coz i know how terribly strong the wind are here.
bad weather.
ngantok. i don't know what my dream would be like later.
don't even know if i would have one. but, i know for sure, i want to wake up,
some where real.

Guinea Pig..

Fairy-tale session begins. Story for today; wicked witch, spells, princess and prince. End of the lesson. Preview for next week:
T:”Okay, that’s all for now. I hope you will be ready for the test next week. I’m so sorry that you would have to be the guinea pig for this..”
S1: What’s that?
S2: Yeah. What’s guinea pig?
T:Well, being guinea pig means that you involved in something new, new project or, for trial or something like that.
S1: We will be the guinea pigs...
S4:Oh.., so you mean like they are coming here and will cast a spell on us?
ME: WT#@&^&%@!
I remembered the first time someone said that to me. Sad voice, she said, regretfully, "nasib, kita pulak jadik guinea pigs gov..tak tahula ape jadi ti.." I was scared, just like those kids. Scared of being the guinea pig, scared of what future might guinea pigs have. 3 years later, guinea pig passed the trial period. Dreams landed on real land..Now guinea pig smiled.

Saturday, October 23

tugu...tunggu aku!!!

read shout out from Aein fb...oh..Mid Valley...what a sad story...baru pernah pergi situ 2 kali...isyk2....
then, i heard the rumours about Malaysia in-the-making new tower...said to be better..in terms of ketinggian kot than KLCC.
huh..another sad part. KLCC. Bertahun2 hidup, tak pernah jejak pun menara ini. Hahaha..later when I do, this tower will no longer a hot spot or wajib lawat place...
so purba i am..
the closest i had ever been from this kembar.

P/s: balik kali ni nak pegi jugakkkkk..

they said stressed should be read from right to the left..

they always said, (they=?) "careful with what you wish, sometimes it becomes real, but not the way you want"..huuu..bebel je...

i kept saying 'why do we have to study this and that, watching movies and reading novels or stories or what ever sounds better!'. Nah! This sem, i have hurm..well more than 20 movies to watch. hahahaha..compulsory. big noktah. the problem is, the movies that i have to watch is...a bit old fashion not among those blockbuster and remaja-like movies. I mean, who want to watch Henry V movie, 1944 version? Some of these movies are even black and white. I have no problem with these colours, i love white a lot and i do like black. But, apparently my eyes don't!
and i also said blogging is fun, huh..now we have to weekly update the blog at learning space..terrrribly malas.

also having upside-down sleeping syndrome. yeah..i accidently followed Malaysian time. haha. jet-lag? no la..gedik!cari pasal.. being a zombie in class is no fun..but..otokke?

haa.. lastly,...Playful Kiss ended. Watched the final episode, for the forth time just now. And I hate it! Damn hate it!!

stressed is desserts huh?
green apple+chocolate icecream+nutssss= yummy!
p/s: who care if its below 10 degrees outside? cold down your heart is way more important!

Thursday, October 21

lesung? got any belacan mehhh...

lesung....oh lesung...
here i got a stupid riddle,
in so many many many many lesung, what lesung can't be use to make sambal belacan?

know the answer right?

Okay fine, though some people said anyone who have it actually have some kecacatan x daya nak ubah with their urat ke otot..   >> eih? really?!

Huh, still...
i won't stop smiling hearing that.

-ayat mati di sini. sini..-

My heart goes rimbun...

She said thank you,
and my heart begins flowering..
ok fine..those tiny little crystals gathered as well..

Later, he said thank you,
then the petals blossom even more..
and immediately crystals become liquid..huuu

At the end, i said to myself , "OK, thanks!"
smiling, the flowers exploded and rimbun!
Yeah, spread all over, doubled and tripled..
now it is extremely full yet not too heavy to carry.
OH wait, actually its even lighter now.

Having lots of those happy flowers in my heart,
the more i have,
the lighter it feels.
Oh autumn,
please don't ajak my petals to fall too!

Sunday, October 17

memory eraser

There are things that i want to erase.. until not even a tiny dot left.

At the end, after i did it,

nothing changes.

Erased, yes.

But as i glance to my eraser, there's a mark there. Used.

Reminds me, and i was then well reminded.

Forced to remember things that I have never forgotten.

At the end, I surrendered.

No use to delete it all. It was there before, fact.

No one changes the past, because no one could.

Let it be. If it's too ugly, make it a beauty. If it's too bad, turn it right. If it's a pain, heal it. If it's broken, fix it. If it's a mistake, learn from it. If it's gone, never let it died away.

What ever it is, thank it.

Our past shaped us at present, and leads us to future.

Past passed, but have we passed?

If we failed to learn anything from it, we didn't even score one!

Saturday, October 16

stone heart

when a heart was once almost exploded,
the eyes would no longer know how to cry,
then when the heart is finally as strong as steel,
watch over it,
and don't let it cold and stoned.


Sunday, October 10

a pearl.

I watched a video on Youtube just now.
Suddenly, it reminds me of an event that i had encountered not long ago, which i posted here...
-The question of why we, Muslimah wear hijab.
I wish I have seen these video before, so my answer will be more of an answer and not moving towards a defensive reaction.
To watch the video that i meant here,
here is the link:

teaching doesn't mean learning happens (Roishin, 2010),
but by answering, a question won't end up alone.
if somehow, you wonder about this topic again, i hope this video could answer you well.
p/s:the video is not mine.

Friday, October 8


How long does someone's/something's beauty last?

-As long as you appreciate it.

This rose was here since last year, hurm October 2010..exactly a year now...and i still do think it is beautiful.

*Too much of WShakespeare lately?

Thursday, October 7


if all Mr/Miss Right are gone,
and you can't find any,
would you just then..,
take Mr/Miss Left?
or left yourself, right in the middle?

*when waiting is awfully hard,
why not?

Wednesday, October 6


If it was never dark,
how would you find the light?

If you never forget,
how should you know that you do remember?

If the wound didn't swollen,
how would you know you are healed?

Monday, October 4

Broken fix.

When a glass is broken,
you might take the glue,
and fix it.
When a heart is broken,
you might give some time,
to fix it.
But if a promise is broken,
give and take,
shall that fix it?

Sunday, October 3

when yellow leaves come to leave us.

"Burning the midnight's oil."
Don't spill the oil,
Don't burn the house.

I can't believe September has finally ended.
What a month.
and the season has changed too.
nature has quietly whispering, slowly and silently telling us that its about falls.again.
yellow leaves..,
they are all here now..
and wind, and windy and cloudy, and raining and rain, and wet.
and that's enough to summarize a week.
And tomorrow,
... yet to be confirmed.