...and the foot steps that I leave behind

Thursday, September 23

tanda sayang.


The saying goes like this;
sayang isteri tinggal-tinggalkan, sayang anak tangan-tangankan”.
And so, as the children do we have to do the same to our parents?
Ma always said “marahlah abah tu, ubat malas telan, makan, pantang x jaga, suruh rehat lagi buat kerja berat”
And Abah keep saying “pergilah, tak payahlah balik sokmo. Abah bimbang anak abah, kalau balik sokmo, kerja, balajar macam mana? Duit ok ke balik je ni..jangan risaulah, pergi jer”
How do we ignore our parents and refuse their request, even their forever favourite food just because the one with the long white coat said no? How could we go, being far away doing our own stuff and stay like that when we couldn’t stop worrying about them. How would we think just about ourselves and forget about them when actually they are part of us. I really want them to be happy. I have learnt his favourite dish which is now banned by the same guy in a white long coat, and though i wanted so badly to cook it for him I will have to keep it aside. And I couldn’t bear seeing her doing things on her own an d no one to help out,, but for now, there is another place that I had to go and place this worry aside.
It hurts to scold your own parents, it hits double when you also have to leave. I guess I know it now, they must have felt the same whenever they had to punish me for my naughtiness. And the same to refuse and let me cry at the shop where I beg them to buy me toys. And again when I sulked for not being allowed to eat KFC and Pepsi. And even when they had to leave me to be on my own outside of this state and this district for the first time when I registered at KMPk. And maybe even now, when they had to ‘chase away’ their children at the time they need them the most.
Of course it won’t be easy. But if it cost this much to prove how much we care and love, then i shall endure it for them.
Leave. But i promised to come back, ain’t i?